The Fuckers - Comments

I'm very much digging this

That was a really sad ending to a first chapter. WHY.

I read this the first go round and i'm super excited it is back!

Can I just say how fucking perfect this story is? I kinda know what Addie is going through, I was 11 when my 12 year old cousin died. He was my best friend. I have his initials tattooed on my wrist... It hits close to home but I'm honestly addicted. I cant wait to read more!

I love this story so much already lol. Got so excited when I saw it was updated. Can't wait for chapter 5!!

Summary:
I was pulled in by the summary and how you worded everything. It definitely made me excited to read the story (plus, I needed to prepare my heart, oh boy).

Prologue:
Woah, what an emotional prologue. At first I thought Nathan was going to drown Ben, but damn was I wrong. I'm shaking at the thought of it and the imagery and description you used made it so much more realistic. Kudos on that.

Chapter One:
I feel so sorry for her. Ben's death wasn't her fault and yet she's blaming herself for the most part. It isn't though. They just wanted to have fun. Gah, my heart hurts!

Chapter Two:
He’ll always be alive to me, even if he isn’t to Katie or my parents. This line. Ah, I actually started crying when I read that.
I really feel like Ben wouldn't have wanted Addie to suffer the way she was. He wouldn't have wanted her to blame herself. Ffff, I really hope things get better for Addie.
I'm hoping Levi will be good for Addie, I really do. Not even as a couple, but just as close friends.
I honestly don't like the way Naomi treated Addie. I can understand where she's coming from, to a certain extent, but it's almost like she didn't even try to help Addie out.
Oh goddamnit, Addie!

Chapter Three:
I don't like the fact that Addie and Katie's parents basically just abandoned them. It probably would've been nice if they were there so they could all grieve together. I understand different grieving methods, but leaving your children to go overseas doesn't seem the way to go about it.
I feel really bad for Katie.
Landon's slip-up had me rolling, but I loved it, haha.

Honestly, I really love what you've got so far! Your descriptions are amazing, the flow is beautiful, and you put tons of emotion into your work. I love that about it. I'm definitely subscribing. Well done!

I just finished reading chapter three. I can't wait for the next chapter. I'm curious on what's going to happen to her friendship with Naomi. The only thing I'm curious about is what kind of relationship Naomi and Xavier have? I don't think that was ever clear to me unless i'm an idiot. Is it like her boyfriend or something?

I really like how you've started this. You really captured the darkness that anyone would be feeling in Addie's situation and I think you've gotten Addie to a point where there's nowhere to go but up. I also liked that you started and ended the first chapter the same way, but added the "and it was my fault" to it at the end. I feel like it added to the characterization of Addie and I really loved that.

The time jump in the second chapter was a nice transition to how life for the characters is now, compared to before, which really shows that life has sucked for them in an almost short-cut type way which is cool. I always have a problem doing the whole "connecting the past with now" thing when I write.

The only thing I'd say is that sometimes some paragraphs can see a bit choppy, and I think it's because of word choice. There's some places where I think a tiny bit of description could be added just take make it flow a little better, if that makes sense.

I'm super excited to see the Tucker boys though. I stalked the character page and they all look mega interesting and I can't wait to see how you write them!

And I promise I'll have the ficmix up maybe tonight if my internet works with me

Fantastic job, lovely! Can't wait to see how the rest of the story goes down.

this layout is GORG
im so ready for this