Fatal Flaw - Comments

Summary: Simple, but very interesting, and I found myself keen to know more about these groups of survivors. I found myself agreeing with the as clumsy as these beasts may be line, and that is possibly the best line of the whole summary, perfectly written.

Chapter 1: THE DESCRIPTIONS! Oh, my Lord, my heart is happy. After months of living in hell there wasn't much that scared her. - yeah, I can quite imagine that Juliet has become immune to anything that isn’t a zombie. Niall freaking out about Juliet’s driving, and then Harry popping up from the back and saying it’s exciting had me chuckling. Good humour is hard to come by in stories about the apocalypse, but you nailed it. The shooting of the biter was perfectly written, really great. The whole chapter was atmospheric and I really loved it, you’ve gained a subscriber (as it turns out I’m already subscribed )!

I’ve only read one chapter, but overall this story is fantastic and I’ll be coming back to read more! Great job!

HELLOOOO I am hella overdue but I AM HERE
HAPPY GIFT EXCHANGE CALLI

Firstly, I gotta mention the layout real quick because it's gorgeous and I love the banner, the colours are beautiful. I'm quite excited for the premise of this story, because, well, who doesn't love a good 1D / zombie apocalypse story

The way you've begun this story is perfect. The attention to detail really helped me as a reader to envision the scenes being played out in my mind, especially as they're trying to get away from the zombies. With the seriousness of what could be a life and death situation, I liked that there was a moment of lightness of the banter between 1D and the girls. I only spotted one mistake: '...the tattered black and white suit that was still clinging to it's body.' it's should be its, this also happened in the next paragraph also. Another thing I really liked was how we were introduced to the action of the story straight away but it didn't seem forced or like we were getting too much of it, there was a nice balance in there. I find that the characters - Juliet in particular - are mysteries so I'm intrigued to get to know them a bit more. It's a great start to the story so far!

The first thing I noticed about chapter two is that in the first paragraph, you've swapped from past to present tense, eg 'It’s almost been a year since the apocalypse started'. This happens a few times within the chapter so I'd suggest just doing a quick skim beforehand. Like I stated in the previous chapter, I'm really impressed by the ridiculous amount of attention to detail and how I feel like I'm in a movie - particularly because I can picture everything happening so well. Oh man, I really feel for Grace. It sucks that the zombie outbreak has caused her and Louis to split but it adds another dimension to just a typical zombie apocalypse story, if that makes sense. I also really like the friendship between her and Michael - my heart can't help but lowkey ship those two I was waiting for a serious moment of why Michael decided to go for the zombies but knowing that it was just for chocolate made me laugh. I felt that moment really created a balance due to the heaviness of the story.

I'm incredibly lazy so I'll come back to review the next three chapters but I really like where this is going so far! Definitely subscribing

I love this and all the authors, of course. This is fun to read. I like the whole zombie idea. :) keep up the good work, guys!

This was really good :D although I would slap niall if I ever saw him using a gun on one zombie when you could've easily avoided it lol waste of bullets. But yeah this was awesome and I'm really excited to read more :)

Too much bad assery, I can't take it! I've searched the butt fuck Egypt parts of the internet trying to find an awesome 1D zombie fix and I think this could very well be it! I love it so far and I'm so excited for the next update.

BEAUTIFUL BANNER AND LAYOUT!!

I can't wait for the first chapter to be posted.

Looks promising, guys!