Hung Up On You - Comments

I really, really enjoyed this one-shot because, within just a little over 400 words, you showed wonderful character development. I’m not going to lie, I have a lowkey soft spot for that whole ‘party boy settles down’ trope. Like it’s not a trope I sought out, but I really enjoy when a writer does it right and realistically—and you did. I was completely and utterly aware of the contrast in the narrator’s life by the way you wrote it. I was cognizant of his partying ways without actually witnessing it, so I knew undoubtedly how drastic it was that he wasn’t doing it anymore.

I actually had a good laugh with how it started. I loved the emotions that the narrator was feeling and expressing, but the hilarious part was that it was to a popcorn ceiling and his neighbors were like “DUDE SHUT UP” which made me laugh. The line The fact that one face, one simple hello was all it took to bring me back down to Earth. Suddenly, oblivion didn’t seem so great. was actually my favorite because it was weighted and also put an emphasis on the change in his life. Your narrative, in general, was actually great and realistic, very easy to connect to!

I actually loved the ambiguous ending as well because whilst I love a good, definite happy ending, I also love the whole concept of leaving it to the imagination of the reader, too. I like to think that Jen felt the same way, heh.

All in all, fantastic job! I loved this.

@ insufferable;
thank you so much!!!!
honestly, i have no idea what will happen between them! i love writing stories like this where everything is completely open at the end bc i don't have to come up w an ending, y'know? i like leaving things up to everyone, including myself!
i'm glad you enjoyed it!!

I really enjoyed the summary for this. It's short and to the point, but still made me excited to read the one-shot.

I absolutely loved this one-shot. The fact that he feels so much emotion about everything that Jen 'did to him'. The fact that he went from drinking and hooking up with girls to settling down with one and it's all because of her.
I'm really wondering what will happen between the two. Will they break up? Will he go back to his old life? While I love how open you left the ending, I still find myself curious with what you think, if that makes sense.
I didn't see any mistakes and the flow of this was spot on. Great job!