Tire of Me - Comments

For a one-shot, this is probably one of my top favorites. Your writing skill is just, wow. And for me to admit that is a pretty big deal because I'm not a big commenter. I love Supernatural so instinctively I reached for this scrolling through your stories.
The simplicity of this just rocks me to the core. How you're so on point with their personalities, with the writing, the description of the room, I'm very impressed.
I appreciate you entering into my candy bowl so I could experience something you've written wonderfully.

A.

You know you're a legend with your descriptions, right? Please tell me you know this.

I love how you start this off with "This silence is unnerving." It's enough to get a good scene going, but then you kind of expand on that and help build the atmosphere up by talking about how it's "swelling" up with that tense sort of air that just drowned out everything. It's freaking brilliant! And now I finally realize that this is about Supernatural.

It's amazing how you've gotten their characters down, by the way. Their silence with one another and the awkwardness of not knowing what to say is just great because I can really imagine this happening in an episode. And you always delve deep into their thoughts, which is something I always really like because it helps them seem more real, and with that said I think you actually summed up Sam's thinking process quite well. With him being the more rational, level-headed brother most of the time, him thinking through all the little details before speaking just sounds like something that has his name written all over it.

And then when Dean speaks and everything feels like it's back to normal, your descriptions just kill me again with their perfection. My favorite has to be about how the conditioning unit is "spitting out a broken song" because WHO THINKS OF SOMETHING THAT GENIUS. I can't with you or your wonderful writing.

But then as Sam grows serious with his apology, my heart kind of breaks at how I envision him talking to Dean. And when Dean replies, it makes everything better because I just know Dean would say something like that to Sam.

I don't know why you don't like it, or are unsure if you do or not. This was great, Victoria!

Sorry if this ends up going through fifty-six gazillion times. I keep getting error messages

Please excuse me for a moment while I gush like the inner thirteen-year-old fangirl that I secretly am:

OMIGOSH, WHY IS THIS THE FIRST COMMENT ON THIS PIECE?!?! WHAT IS THIS BLASPHEMY?!? THIS WAS FUCKING BRILLIANT, OH MY LAWD!

Okay, time for me to put on my critical reading hat

First off, I felt like your portrayal of Sam and Dean was so utterly and unbelievably on-point that I couldn’t get over it. In all honesty, I’m generally not a fan of shorter pieces, but I felt like it was perfect for this particular story because it gave me that feeling like I was right there in this stretch of time and space with Sam. This was definitely one of those stories that I felt like was unfolding in real-time for me, if that makes any sense, and that was probably the aspect that stood out the most to me.

I also really adored how you were so selective with the dialogue and the pacing of that dialogue because I felt like it had so much more of an impact that way. I loved how once Sam got past those first two words of an apology, it was like this weight was lifted off of his shoulders and his surroundings slowly began to come back to life again because he wasn’t so fixated on himself anymore.

I’m also a huge sucker for imagery, and I felt like you definitely did an amazing job of evoking all the senses, but at the same time, there wasn’t this ridiculous amount of description to the point where I felt weighed down by it or it became cheesy, and that’s definitely a feat considering that this piece relied so heavily on the description.

As far as con-crit is concerned, I honestly don’t have any suggestions, which is a rarity for me

Overall, I definitely loved reading this piece. I think you did an absolutely amazing job with this