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Eden Parish - Comments

  • carousels;

    carousels; (100)

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    Whoa! The layout and the detailed, illustrated story really pulled me in when I first saw the page. The layout is lovely and very neat and allows for easier reading.

    The first chapter really sets the scene and also leaves many questions lingering in the readers' minds. AGAIN, your imagery is terrific! I just love your writing! I also love stories where the character is the black sheep of the family because it really sets for an interesting story. As I continue reading through the story, so many more questions continuing popping up! I want to know what happened to Eden to make her change so drastically and why she keeps herself away from her family so much!

    Wow. Wow. I cannot believe acid was thrown on her, and then Salem. I've read stories about girls who have gone through an incident of acid, and it's terrible. The way you described it gave me chills as I tried to imagine it myself, and I can't believe they not only decided to hurt Eden but her sister as well. I can't wait to continue reading more as I am now hooked!
    October 31st, 2015 at 03:51am
  • honeyjoons

    honeyjoons (350)

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    First of all, as always your summary is great. It gives you enough to draw you in and make you want to dive in and know more.

    Right away the first chapter left huge questions like what happened to Eden to make her become this way and what was it like for her in the government as a killer. Her character seems like your classic tortured soul with a dark past and even darker deeds she has committed and those characters are always the best because they male you question and yearn to know more.

    It's especially interesting that her family is religious and her dad is a damn pastor yet she is the way she is.

    And then chapter two! The scene with the acid was written exquisitely. The way you described how the skin around her eyes looked and the pain she felt even had me wincing in pain. And the last sentence about Salem...I will definitely be reading on and I'm sure so will anyone else who has the honor of reading even the summary!
    October 22nd, 2015 at 12:02am
  • the dalliance.

    the dalliance. (305)

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    THIS IS AMAZING AF.
    and I 100% agree with everything Xiaholic has to say about this!
    MOVIE PLEASE
    October 4th, 2015 at 06:04am
  • Unown

    Unown (190)

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    Wow, wow, wow.

    I honestly don't even know where to begin with feedback for this story but if I had to describe it with just one word it'd be phenomenal.

    You are the Goddess of this fantastic work of fiction; you own it - everything hints this from your flawless, on-going descriptions of everything from characters to settings and from the extremely well thought-out, clever way that the lives of the characters become intertwined.

    Lest I forget to mention the amazing meaningful dialogue which somehow manages to dance around the edges of what we know as readers while never making us feel lost; only further intrigued and knowledgeable - better equipped for the events to come, like a foreshadowing.

    What caught me the most was the unique way in which you address or involve the reader with rhetorical questions, for example.
    The paragraphing is marvellous and although the text is small I actually like this because, much like the rhetorical questions, zooming into this beautiful and delicate story makes me feel very involved; it's a lovely personal touch.

    I always love your layouts: simplistic on the outside while beautiful on the inside, just like the wonderful story itself.

    The only suggestion I could think of to make would be for a short summary of some form to be made which may help to draw readers in straight away - though I'm certain that if readers only read the first paragraph they'd fall in love with this story, much like I did.
    However a short summary may just give that little advantage of catching the interest of those lazy readers (guilty here also; sometimes I rely on a summary before I begin) right away.

    Overall I found this story an absolute pleasure to read from start to finish.
    I adore a good story packed with action, suspense, thrill, mystery, danger, hints of romance and a huge wad of feeling to it (raw feelings from the characters; unique perspectives), and I think you accomplished just that and more - your story soared straight into my heart.

    Honestly, this needs to be a movie - I'd pay for it to be a movie if I could. It's so movie-like yet story-like at the same time which sounds so obvious yet strange.

    Perhaps what I'm trying to say is that I think the plot flows as professionally as a movie's when I play it out in my head, yet I wouldn't miss your deliciously delicate while sometimes sublimely brutal writing for the world - if there was a movie, there damn well had better be a published book! Wink

    Fantastic work!
    August 15th, 2015 at 05:15am
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