Immortal - Comments

@ A. J.
Thank you bro! ^_^
Ahhh! Ashen is evil as hell, nothing would happen to him And thanks for the comment <3

great imagery in chp 5, as with all of them.
Hopes Ashen is okay! Who is this boy? Got me on the edge of my seat with this little bully. lol

@ Divine Faery
Heyyy! Thanks for the comment (:

Ah, I think I wanted to leave it as real, cause it sounded, er... cool to me. Oh man, sorry, I tend to have weird taste
Um... I think my characters will make sense when I write more of them. They seem psychopaths right now, right? Hahaha
Shiva calls Alyiah useless because she messed up lat time during a war. She has power, but she did wrong, so, yep. Plus he's arrogant

Thanks again! Totally made my day

OK the first chapter I'm wondering what's going on is this like a prologue or something yet to come? Either way I'm curious to know who or what Ashen is and what that blue light was at the end.

I think I only found one mistake.

“You couldn’t believe this is real, right? Welcome, Lucius. Welcome to the desert of real.”

I think you meant for real to be reality but I could be wrong.

Chapter two OK I didn't find any mistakes but what the hell why does he want to kill himself? Why would he end up killing someone else and also I'm but sure but I think he's an angel

Chapter three so I think this story is about Angels and Demons my thing that I never understand is how people who don't know how to feel or have no emotions never seem to realize that they do, otherwise that wouldn't care about having emotions, they wouldn't fear or hope for anything, but she's interesting all the same.

Also no mistakes, good job.

Chapter four I was completely confused at first I had no idea what was going on until I figured out was some kind of spell or ritual. So I'm confused were they related or not Luscious and Ashen? And if she's so useless why does he need her help huh?

All around I think this is a very interesting story so far, I'm subscribing.

You're welcome!

@ Z Warrior Hina
Yayyy! HAha, thanks Hina, it really means a lot.

Holy shit this first chapter is awesome. It's a bit vague but in a mysteriously good way. I love the description and details and I wanna know why Ashen is hurting Lucius. Like damn girl! I'm definitely coming back to read this again! I just got done reading the first chapter so be patient with me as I try catching up with the updates. Nice job, Tipsy.

@ A. J.
Haha, yayy! Thanks again! :D
You find the third eye cool? Haha, just imagine how it would look for real. I mean its kinda... weird

great chapter. So I gather they will team up, but who is the war with? Interesting. Shocked by the third eye. That was a surprise to read and sorta cool!

@ A. J.
Whew! I'm honestly so relieved to know that atleast one character was liked. I've been having a feeling that anyone who reads this would immediately hate all of them haha They sound downright evil

And thank you so much! Glad you're liking this! And they're not all demons. ^_^

Your description of the Demons that deceive was excellent. I'm intrigued how these three demons (if they're all demons) are going to interact. Great three chaps here, Tips. xx

Forgot to say great start---again!

You're welcome honey!!! Love Light. Not sure if he's good or bad yet. (just read chp 2) Seems he's cursed immortal?