Urges - Comments

First off I like your summary, it adds mystery and the need to read more... To see where you as a writer are planning on taking things.

I only read the first chapter, but already I really like what you've done... You haven't gone with the classic vampires living in the shadows angle, which is refreshing.

Aside from a few mistakes where you used the wrong word or missed a word out, I didn't come across anything major that stopped me reading.

This is a strong start to a story with huge potential... Good job.

Summary:
I absolutely love your summary. I think it gives really good insight on what's going to happen in the story without giving too much away and I really appreciated that.
He's enjoys his nights from a rooftop where no one can bother him. he's should be he
I can't wait to see how you portray vampires in this. I'm super excited!

Chapter One:
Vic honestly sounds like such a sweetie from just the first paragraph. I honestly feel like he's a kind soul; that's just the vibe I'm getting.
The shirt was from her high school, and mines mines should be mine
I love how you described the deaths of Francis and Turner. The fact that Vic doesn't stake them and instead just rips their hearts out is something I haven't seen before, but I like it!
I can definitely understand why Cecily would be afraid, the poor thing.
It took me about thirty seconds to find all of it then make my wake back over to her wake should be way
Vic must have a lot of control to be able to ignore the fact that a human is bleeding right in front of him.

I'm definitely going to be continuing this. I want to see what happens with Vic and Cecily. Aside from the small mistakes I pointed out above, your spelling/grammar were pretty great. I love the detail and characterization you used. Great job!

I really liked your summary. It got straight to the point and actually gave me a lot of good information about your story. A lot of summaries on Mibba are usually prologues or excerpts from the story or, if they're actual summaries, they still leave a lot to be desired, but yours gave me a really good idea of what the story was about and gave me enough info to decide if I wanted to keep reading or not. (I did!)

I also liked that your story had actual named chapters and those names were a bit creative. I think it's great that you took the extra time to fit in that detail.

I really like your narrator's voice. I think it's just the right blend of unique and relatable. I like the little colloquialisms he fits into his words like The Drink and Dive. I think it really gives his narration some character.

Probably my favorite part of this story are the little details - the vampire's code, for example, where they can kill each other but not using stakes - it really helps to bring the story to life and create a more well-rounded description of what the world is like here. I also like a lot of the descriptions - like He looked panicked and annoyed at the same time. It was possible, though I hadn't met many people. I gave him small kudos for it. - again, it really just gives your narrator a lot of character and it also gives me an idea of what Francis was like too.

Overall, I think this is definitely going to be a good story. I like your writing style and, so far, I like your main character Vic. I'm definitely interested in reading more (and I've subscribed). The only criticism I really have is that this probably needs a once-over for grammar/technical errors. There are a few places where some well-placed punctuation would help with the flow of sentences, and there are some places with typos/errors that can probably be caught by a beta-reader.