Covered in Wounds - Comments

I like this a lot so flow. It flows well. I just wanted to say that there is a typo in chapter one - 5th paragraph. "The wedding ring was already in my finger," I'm pretty sure you meant 'on.'

I am confused with the timeline though. Because it states that they got engaged/had sex for the first time the night she graduates but then it says that they met when she was just 15 years old. And they got engaged after only knowing each other for a month?

Either way I liked the progression of the first chapter and how easy it reads.

I can tell already that this story is going to be very interesting! I also think the title is cool. It has a lot of potential, but like some of the others have said the detail is a bit lackluster. Hone in on the smaller things and build off of what you already have, which is great and much better than a good amount of other content I've read on here. I'm excited to see where you go with this and how it'll be written. c: Best of luck!

So this story has a lot of potential and I really like it, despite it being two chapters in. First of all, the summary instantly got me hooked. I love me some marital drama. And as I was reading the first chapter, I realized how much I love how creepy this story is. I'm not sure what that says about me, but it makes for a really interesting story. I don't want to sound like a broken record and just repeat what everyone else is saying, but I do agree with how you should add more detail to the story. Particularly more about their background and how Erica is feeling, because sometimes it can seem like the reader was just cut off from the information you're giving us, if that makes any sense? Point of view is extremely key for this story because you're only seeing Erica's side in all of this, so you can really bank on that and make us see exactly what she's seeing.

But I really am enjoying this story a lot, despite what I said above and a couple of grammatical errors. I can't wait to read more about their story. I hope Erica gets revenge in the end and murders Christian or something... (I watch a lot of drama shows, if you couldn't tell heh...)

I really like the title of this story! I know that's a weird thing to point out but still I like the plot you have, it seems like it'll be interesting. I think you may have given away a little too much in the summary, though. But I'm the type of person who just puts a quote in my summary so what do I know

I agree with the other commenters in terms of adding more description. This story definitely has potential, but I found it a little hard to really get into it because I couldn't feel the emotions from the characters and I couldn't visualize what was going on. That being said, the details you have are good, and you could just build off of those to make things great.

But anyways, this is definitely a good start and I'm intrigued to see where you go with the rest of the story. Good luck writing the rest!

This story has potential and the details that you've added are good but I would have definitely liked to see more... I like stories that show me what you as a writing are trying to convey instead of being told... that however doesn't mean that the story is bad, it's not.

Although you asked for a torta de cangrejo which is for one-shots or drabbles, it's fine

The summary is okay. But without even reading the disclaimer below it, I could already tell what was the story about because of the summary. It would be better if you created a summary that doesn't give out too much but at the same time, can be interesting and inviting to the readers.

I understand Erica's narrating the past but it wouldn't hurt to be more descriptive about it. One thing that makes a story stimulating is description. So far, the first chapter is lacking - at least a small dose - of it.

One thing I also noticed is this trend in punctuation: ‘’Will you marry me?’’
Instead of putting two apostrophes, why not use quotation marks? Apostrophes are used to show possession, for substituted letters or to show plurality. The acute accent and prime symbol also look similar to quotation marks but these symbols are not meant for dialogue. Unless you're recounting a dialogue, you shouldn't use quotation marks. But if you're showing thought, you can use either quotation marks or apostrophes. Using the the latter to show direct speech is a no-no, though.

The same thing goes with the second chapter. The lack of descriptions and the punctuation errors are still there.

Overall, both chapters are not that engaging or gripping. There's still room for improvement though. You can start with the summary then work your way up to your latest chapter. I recommend proof-reading your chapters again and try to describe a scene instead of showing it with words. What I mean is telling a scene in detail - how it appeals to the senses. For example: It is hot. You can just make that into: The heat is oppressive, sweltering and exhausting, it sticks to the skin and makes ovens out of parking lots.

Bugger, It repeated >.< Mibba and I like to play with one another from time to time. So uhh... this second comment isn't here, nope.. Can't see it...

I think this is going to be a rather intriguing story. Not a lot of stories out there that focus on domestic abuse for longer than a minute, if that. People like to cover it up and move along. So, this right here, has sparked my interest. :D

I really like the structure of this beginning! There is no elusion to what is going to come in the future, or at least, not one I can see. I won't assume however, that always ends me in a spot that I kick myself about. I mind that I assume when reading anything and everything, and then I end up being completely shell shocked and exasperated, and I'll stop rambling now... I shall read on when you update!

There were a few minor grammar things. I apologize for mentioning that if it upsets you, however I did notice them. Nothing big, most certainly something my brain mentally plops stuff in for. :)

All in all a fantastic first read! PLEASE CARRY ON :D I'm excited!!!