If I Lose. - Comments

Reading what Amy says to Banner pulled my heart strings! Love it! Of course Tony is behind all of this! lol He just like to gives his little sister a fighting chance to find Steve too.

just found this story and read it all cauuse i couldn't stop. and not gonna lie i got pretty teary eyed with the last chapter

ugh they really need to find banner quickly and he needs to be super smart and come up with what it is that's wrong and how to stop it because that was frickin' heartbreaking
steve leaving..

These new updates made me wanna cry... Hardcore. It made me think of past relationships and oh, boy. lol so excited for more!

oh yeah.. steve wont be happy when he finds out that she went to see bucky all on her own
aawe, nat and bruce..... gosh they were so cute in the newest avengers
her thinking back on the things steve has done for her.... who wouldn't fall in love with a man that does all of those things for ya?

Don't leave it like thattt!!! lol xxxx

hah finally!! I didn't have to wait long for that kiss
ugh, her visions are so horrible.. and I wonder why she gets them, since Scarlett can't really pin-point why....

okay seriously I just loved that latest chapter!! how he was like a little kicked puppy and then the fight- and her falling asleep on his chest while still laying amongst broken glass...
and they should just kiss already

Holy shit! I simply cannot wait to see where this goes. How does HYDRA have the power to even do that mind control?! Crazy! Patiently waiting for more

AHHH KEEP GOING :O How can you leave us hanging like this? I HAVE to know what happens next. They need to just.. call it what it is damnit,... dkgnslgnsdvv ...

:D

Please don't leave it like this! lol I love this so much already! xx

I would like to start of with saying, I love this! I think the parts where Amy and Steve interact is the strongest parts of the story and what I like reading, which is a really good thing considering it's a cap story, but I wish there was more of that interaction because there really isn't that much of it and the rest of the stuff seems rushed anyways.

This was awesome!!! Congrats xxx

aww that was so precious <3 please update soon!

Yay! I really enjoy this story so far!! :) please update soon!

I read the first chapter, and started in on the second, but I haven't seen the movie yet so I'm going to stop. I don't know if your story has any spoilers, but I don't want to risk it.

There were a few problems with capitalization, which is easily fixable. I also noticed a few typos, the first one coming to my eye as I look over it again being - "my vest friend" again easy to fix.

I think the chapter ends rather abruptly, like you were going to write more but then just didn't.

Overall, I think it will probably be a good story. Good luck with it!

Layout / Summary

The layout is simple and all of the colours mesh together well. I'm unsure of the title placement, but I do think that's just my own personal preference and nothing to do with the layout itself!

The summary, I'm not so fond of. It's very little and doesn't give the user any suggestion as to what the story would be about and normally, I wouldn't glance at the story based solely on the summary. Perhaps it might be an idea to flesh that out a little bit more, just to let the user get more of a feel for the story?

Content

I'm kind of hooked on the Avengers again after seeing the latest movie so I was super excited to see that this was an Avengers-centric fic! I'm a Hawkeye girl though, so I don't tend to read Cap fics, so I'm excited to change that!

I think it's interesting to have the story follow the plot for the latest film. I'm really excited to see where your narrator fits in amongst the whole thing, and how she's going to help the team (more so Steve) along. I was really interested when you mentioned that she was Stark's sibling, because I was interested in how she would fit into the lineup. I definitely can see both sides of the argument from where he is coming from with not wanting her to fight and her insistence to help out. I think it's nice to see another powerful female character being added to the ranks of the Avengers. There are way too many boys in that club for my liking, so I'm looking forward to seeing how she kicks ass with the group along the way!

You're doing a good job of keeping the storyline as true as possible to the movie, but adding your own twist onto it, which is really cool.

Concrit

the stark tower -- Stark should be capitalised (it also happens in the third chapter)

Starks voice -- Starks should be Stark's

ultron -- Ultron should be capitalised (this happens a few times throughout)

I barley even -- this could be US versus UK English, but I'm sure that barley should be barely.

needed to be down -- down should be done?

ultrons body -- should be Ultron's body

avengers should be capitalised

baner -- I'm assuming this should be Banner

around my waste -- waste should be waist

I ketbout -- I'm unsure what the last bit is supposed to be. Is it let out?

under my breathe -- breathe should be breath

bruce should be capitalised.

There were also a few issues with dialogue grammar that I noticed, namely with punctuation. When you're using a dialogue tag that relates directly back to the phrase spoken, you should use a comma and not a period. For instance:

"He's not my boyfriend Stark." I muttered

should be...

"He's not my boyfriend Stark," I muttered.

Also, when you're using a dialogue tag that relates directly back to the phrase spoken, the first word of the tag should be in lowercase. For instance:

"Really?" He responded.

should be...

"Really?" he responded.

It is just a little thing though, super-easy to fix!

Overall

This is a good start! I'd watch for typos, as you seem to make a few here and there, but overall, it's looking good! As I said above, I'm excited to see where you take this in the future, and how the narrator fits in with the group. Keep it up!

Loving it already!

Loving it already!