The Wicked - Comments

So i came across your story and it's pretty good so far. There are a few grammatical errors here and there as well as spelling or words that are just used incorrectly in certain sentences...(i'm not trying to rain on your parade...i just thought you would like to hear some feedback.
So back to using words in the wrong context: "Cause you look expectantly good in the music videos." I would like to assume you mean to say "Cause you look exceptionally good in the music videos"

I would also like to think (think because i am now about to start chapter 2 therefore i don't know) that the fact that there aren't any real paragraphs is just your style of writing. Which is totally fine but it kind of takes away from gaining any kind of real insight into the characters you are trying to portray. I mean, i can gather that Zara is witty and quite sarcastic but so far that's about it. There isn't much else i can gain from her character other than she loves A7X and that Zacky V is here favorite of them all.
It would be nice to see some character development because yes, it doesn't have to necessarily be given away totally in the first few chapters to the readers but more insight by at least the end of chapter two would have been nice.
A word of advice from a fellow writer..(.i'm certainly not trying to come across as a hard ass feedback giver...my writing certainly isn't perfect either.) Here's my advice: When you write a chapter, read it aloud to yourself. That way you can pick up on any errors that you may have initially put down while the words were flowing. Reading what you have written aloud helps to pick up on grammatical, sentax and spelling errors.
Overall, i want to read more because i'm a total sucker for ZV ann probably always will be.

Please update again soon!

Nice story. Just remember to tweak your grammer because you use "you" and "your" wrongly. I haven't seen them right most of the time, and I haven't seen "you're" yet either.

More more more more more please :)
Its amazing and beautiful and in more ways the one addictive.
Waiting eagerly xx

coolio! i started a new page!

this is super-dee-duper! I hope that you update soon. you should really continue this.

wow, i just discovered this story and fell in love with it!!!
please, please, please, please, please update soon!!!

UPDATE!!!! lol I miss this story :)

Hey, I really like the story! I couldn't stop reading it!

Can't wait for more!

I love the story. Keep it up, and keep up the hard work.

Kimmy Sullivan

awesome story! more when you can!!!!
<3

loved

loving this. :]]

loved it!!! more soon?

Awh!

That was so cute!

I cannot wait for more!

Soonish, pwease!

peaceout
</3Beej

the ending was really cute! :P

more soon?
x

hehe
zacky=sexyyy ;] lol

wow it's been sooooooooo long! great update though! I loved it.

update again soon please!!!!!!!!!

♫Peace Out♫

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

haha, loved the update.
:)
sorry you're so busy, but glad you got this out.
more soon