Captured - Comments

The discription in this is amazing and I like that you split it into two... kinda like good and bad I suppose. It's short but like your other pieces it is strong and is really well written :)

I'm here with my comment for the contest!

I loved what you did here and just how you made the antagonist someone who wasn't inherently bad, but still had some good in them. I wish there had been more for the protagonist's chapter, overall really I wish there was more. This is a fantastic two-shot and I enjoyed it a lot.

Good luck with the contest! I'll be announcing the winners soon.

And I loved the second part just as much as the first

I actually like the fact that you put your own spin on the antagonist portion of this and how you really blurred the lines between the pure and the sinister. Obviously, the examiner is still the antagonist in the eyes of the other female lead and in Ezra's eyes, but at the same time, the examiner's not evil: she's just doing her job, obeying orders. It's made very clear in the way she reacts to Ezra's distress and her resentment against having to test on children that she's not this cold, heartless character, and I love that you were able to flesh her out like that and make her something deeper, especially in only 666 words I totally envy your conciseness.

His eyes were a deep shade of desperate - Ugh, I loved that line

I also kinda pictured Julianne Moore as the examiner while I was reading this

But anyways, my babbling aside, this was fantastic. I would honestly love to see more sci-fi stuff from you. You're clearly a natural at it!

Layout: I like how the layout is simple but at the same time appealing to the eye. A lack of summary is really interesting cause I feel like I'm going in blind, and that actually kinda excites me.

I like how you just dive in with the first paragraph. The detailing is on point and I can really visualize it in my head and really engages me into what is going on and asking questions like "Where is she?" and "Why is she here?" which is really good since writers should want to engage their readers.

Wow. I like how immediately after you dived in, you world built. Even though it's only like 500 words, you have a lot and I got a lot of information on the world and a glimpse of how it woks all in a short amount of words. That's talent and I'm very interested to get the other side perspective and find more about Ezra and more about the world and why she considers herself a "good one" for always following.

Major props to you. Especially since you said it's different from things you've written. Good job going out your comfort zone and being amazing at it.

You should definitely be proud of this one

I thought the way you began this with the incredible descriptions was definitely very powerful: I felt like I was completely immersed in the moment with this poor, frightened girl. Even though this is fairly brief, I felt an immediate connection to the main character, and I really ached for her and her situation.

I was definitely intrigued by the premise - I'm dying to know more about her and her species, but I was also pretty fascinated by all the suspense you built up and all the unanswered questions that had me begging to read more I definitely wanna find out more about the main character's relationship with Ezra and what's going to become of her in this imprisonment

So yeah, can't wait to see where you take things in the second part!