In the Time of Blackberries - Comments

Ah! I don't know how you capped this at 500 words either, I wish there was more!
Simple, cute, and totally immersive. Love it!

I really love the title of your piece - it was a fresh, different sort of title that caught my attention right away. I don't really like Raven as a character on the show, but I did enjoy reading this because I find Bellamy and Raven an interesting topic to read about. You have a really excellent way with words. I honestly found myself captivated by the scene you created, and was honestly a little bummed that it was only a short five hundred words. Brilliant work.

This was very cute and very well written. Short and sweet!

Title:
At first the title confused yet intrigued me. As I clicked on the story link, I was drawn in by the beautiful layout and wonderful description.

Layout:
I love your choice of content background. It's so soft and easy on the eyes.
The colour scheme is perfect in my opinion.

I also love the delicate effect of the lowercase titling; delicate like glass and wings. The chapter title could refer to both Bellamy and Raven or just Raven to me which I thought was cool. Like doubly imagery.

Summary:
I adore how concise and poetic the summary is with its description and information. Before reading we know little but just enough to draw us in.

Story:
I have read this story as if it were original due to not having watched The 100 before.

As others have said, I think that your imagery is stunning. You capture the raw feelings of the two masterfully. Readers are not given much description or insight into the setting but this did not bother me.
I enjoyed your focus on the two characters.

You did very well to relate the story back to your prompt. I personally think that's an especially challenging prompt to work with because items aren't normally seen or chosen as the main aspect(s) of a piece of writing. It is usually one or more characters.

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There is just one sentence which I would personally consider changing the grammar of slightly, just to make it flow better, but I think it's a matter of opinion and is really up to you. I thought it might be worth mentioning anyway.

Quote

He finds her curled up beneath the tattered blanket, red-rimmed eyes staring hopelessly at some spot on the opposite wall, and it aches for him to see her like this: this tiny, fragile, crumpled thing, a baby bird with a broken wing.

I would personally use a hyphen instead of a comma before the text in bold.

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Overall, I think you did a fantastic job with this piece. It sounded like a hard task and I think you nailed it. :-)

The imagery in this short piece is strong and it is really well written. I don't know what else to say, your writing is amazing and no matter if the piece is long or short, you keep your readers captivated. Good job!

@ tommo;

Aww, thank you so, so much

this. is. so. good. this is. so. good. this is so. good. this is so good. thiSIS IEF SOGHTIUSHG THIS SI SO GOOD this is actually so painful at first but then you're still here don't waste it a N DTHE N i know they're you're favorite

a n d t h en s seh gfhuesightes accepts them

my heart

this was so good and i can't believe i'm saying that again but it was it was and you did an amazing job and it was just wonderful and i loved it and wowowow

@ Michael Westen
@ losing control.

Thank you both for the lovely comments!

Lizz, you should totally try your hand at fanfiction I mean, you just experimented with sci-fi and it turned out epic, so why not?

Awe I love this. I adore how you can write the characters so perfectly, I've always stayed away from fanfiction because I don't feel like I can write the characters well enough, but you always do it so well.

I also like how short it was, it just showed the cuteness of Rellamy in a small amount of words and it was so great.

This is so cute. I'm honestly glad that you capped it at 500. I like how it's just a small sneak peak into the two characters. Good job!