My One Good Deed - Comments

I'm also here as a judge for the Magazine contest!

I definitely second everything that losing control. has said below. The way that you've written this brings across the emotions that Lacy is feeling so well. I've seen people in her situation before and felt bad for them, but when you write I was literally begging for someone to help her. She's a character that you get to know in such a short space of time, and you do get attached to her and feel for her when you realise that she goes from good to bad and then to worse.

I think this is a really realistic plot as well. The amount of times that this happens to people is unbelievable. I could have seen this ending happily or on a sad note, although I am very glad it ended well! I think it's a super-sweet touch to have Peter being her 'one good deed' -- that was particularly cute, and having them use that experience and having Lacy getting something positive out of such a dark hole was really wonderful and heart-warming to read.

Again, the only issue I could see was the phrasing of the sentence mentioned. The idea of 'really great' just seems a little... abrupt? I'm not sure, but it does affect it a little bit.

Overall, this was a wonderful piece though! Beautifully written, absolutely lovely plot and relatable characters. Ticks all of the boxes!

Double, sorry

I'm here as a judge for the Magazine's contest!

I really liked this story! The layout kind of tripped me out a little because there was so much stuff moving though

I really enjoyed your descriptions. They were all very well placed and powerful and moved the plot along really nicely. I also like how you wrote Lacy. I saw some of myself in her character and her feelings were very real and perfectly written, in my opinion. The ending was also cute as well, I like how you introduced Peter and he was super sweet and then you jumped forward to them getting married. It kind of reminded me of a romantic comedy movie.

The only thing I would say is this sentence felt kind of awkward:
Lacy enjoyed not only the first hot meal that she'd had in a while, but also the company of Peter who was the first person to do a really great deed for her
I think it was just because it felt like it ended kind of abruptly and having the words “really great” felt like it kind of broke up the flow that the piece had.

Overall though, this was really lovely. Great job!