To the Moon - Comments

This was Amazing, your detail is perfect and it's just really nice to read. I really like the way it built as well and the ending was awesome :) Nice job!

I’ve only recently started watching the 100, so I was kind of excited to read this because I really like Raven and Bellamy. I think the story kicks off with this down-to-earth nature, and it feels very realistic. Especially his trying to reassure her that she needs to let him do things for her, and I thought that was really cheesy and so likely to happen.

Your descriptions are really fabulous. You go from these short really practical paragraphs that really sum up their movements and what they’re doing, and then you blend them against these beautiful ones that are filled with imagery and placement. I really, really like that. The words you use in the descriptive ones are so tasteful, “bathing the sky with pinks and oranges.”

Seriously, the way you spread this story out was so sweet. They start out like they’re just any other couple, and they get frustrated and have their little qualms. Raven is so in character, and the fact that she doesn’t trust him with anything but looking for some tools is basically incredible. As for Bellamy, he’s this little oddball of frustration and sweetness, and I love it. The fact that they can sort of get over the fact that their stuck out in the middle of nowhere, just makes me feel that they are happy to just be together and be in each other’s company and that’s all they need.

So basically, I loved this, if you couldn’t tell. Haha!

First off, I am in love with the layout. It is so pretty and oh my gosh I just really like it.

I love your description, because I could picture myself there with Bellamy and Raven, feeling the frustration and just. Agh.

She wanted to say she was surprised that they were stuck in this situation, but the old car was almost in pieces already anyways, so it was inevitable that something like this would happen. I loved that sentence because it led me to feel her frustration and also the irony of the situation, because Bellamy just wanted to do something romantic and of course the car would freakin' mess up. Bless.

I thought that the pacing was perfect and I didn't see any errors, and I am so glad I've read this. It's always a pleasure to read anything you write.

AHHHHH LIZZ, I THINK YOU DID AH-MAZING ON THIS AND I LOVED IT SO FRIGGIN' MUCH!

Okay Kandi, time to quit fangirling the fuck out and compose a proper comment.

I know you were worried about writing fanfiction and not having it stay true to character and all that good stuff, but I think you did a brilliant job on that aspect here. I loved the way you were able to balance the fluffiness with the way that the two of them naturally relate to each other. Like, I feel like this is exactly the way the two of them would be in these circumstances/if they were in a relationship together: Bellamy would try to do cute stuff for her, and Raven would be irritated because she likes having control over things. Bellamy would definitely also be the one to adorably screw things up, and Raven would definitely try to be mad at him, but it would fail. I mean, we've already seen in the show that Bellamy has that way of getting through to her and calming her down when she's on the edge, and I feel like the piece kinda played off of that aspect of the Raven/Bellamy dynamic.

Anyways, aside from basically making my heart melt inside my chest, I think you did an awesome job with this. Seriously, write more fanfiction, write more oneshots. Yes please