Illumine - Comments

It took me ages to get to the commenting part of my Hawaiian Giveaway you participated in, but behold it’s finally here!

I could definitely relate to the intro with the with entire phone thing. I do that all the time and somehow make myself paranoid. I don't know why but I agree with the chase thing too. Is it just girl nature?

THAT RELATION TO SAND AND HOLDING ON geez I wanted to cry and hold onto on Bobby like aww sweetie no

KANDI JUST LOVE BOBBY. LOVE HIM UNTIL YOU CAN NO LONGER LOVE AGAIN

Bob has that effect on people: making people think about him when they're trying not to think about him I relate to this revolving around any boy, really

KANDI, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?! you captured the meaning of girl logic perfectly

Bob is the definition of anything romantic let's be real

I love that tub scene
It was cute
And romcom material af

Bob, you cute bastard

The breaks are a nice touch. I only got the reason why it was reverse and forward after the second break

You make every sentence have some sort of meaning. I love that.

“This is how it feels to fly too close to the sun.” THIS LINE IS GORGEOUS AND AMAZING AND AHHH. wow

And the whole “telling someone you love them gives them the power to break you,” is tumblr material but I can't take it, Kandi, so much emotion and feeling in your paragraphs, I can't take it gahhsjskfkfjdks

MY POOR HEART, KANDI
why u do this to me
Dammit Bob
Nakaodkksskkaqhjaoakwhdid

MY POOR ROMANTIC HEART
I want to write about Bob now
Geeezzzzzz I need Bob but Bob belongs to u
So I'll pass
He's still cute tho

KANDI u did bae justice
I assure you, bae is proud

Kandi, I love your little drabbles. You make the reader relate and find some connection to your stories. The scenes you've written is beyond amazing. I don't know if this makes sense but your writing is the type of writing that persuades a person to write. You have this inspiration kick in your stories, which makes people want to write. I loved this way more than I should. Thank you for recommending this to me!

I really like this, the detail you use is great and your wording is captivating at times... I really like this line 'It wasn’t a single pivotal moment or a conscious decision: her feelings for him were something basal, something that ran deeper than the marrow in her bones.'

You're very talented with words :)

Girl, you know I always love your writing. I really love how realistic your characters always are. At first I thought it was because it's an SI piece, but then I realized it's just you being amazing and making them so relateable. Kandi's emotions were super real and I felt like I knew exactly how she was feeling through the whole story which was really interesting. The part about him winning over her dog was just so great because it's so true. Like I can't even handle it.

You always have just the write amount of detail for each section as well. You never have an overwhelming amount so everything is super easy to read but there's still enough that I can imagine everything that's happening, you know? The bath part of the story was my favourite because I felt like I would react the same way as what you wrote if I was in that situation and it felt super real and it was so cool to read it.

I do agree with Alex about it feeling a bit rushed, but I know that's my bad for making you finish it so I'd love to see the part where they were fighting be fleshed out more if/when you edit it, because that part seemed super important and also felt the most rushed to me.

But yes! You know I adore everything you write and this was just lovely

@ decay

I KNOW RIIIIGHT?? It's like, a crime against nature or something that such an attractive man has such a totally boring and unattractive name. Like...even "Rob" or "Robbie" would be hotter than "Bob," but alas, whatever bae wants to be called is fine by me

As far as the dog thing goes, I guess technically someone can be apart of your life, but it's difficult. My dog absolutely despises my older brother, and it's an issue because he tries to lowkey sneak up behind him and bite him every time he comes over. Let's be real here, my dog Durden hates everyone except for me, so this would be OOC for him. He would lowkey try to sneak up behind bae and bite him too. He sees my mom almost every day and she brings him food all the time, but he still gives her the stink eye like he's not quite sure SO IF BAE GETS THE DURDEN STAMP OF APPROVAL, HE IS CLEARLY MY SOULMATE

Aww, thank you so much! I really appreciate the kind words and the fact that you took the time to leave me such a lovely and detailed comment I tried to indicate the timline with the "<<" for rewind to the past and ">>" for present, but I'll definitely try to clarify that some more when I go back in to edit.

I am still like, 210% behind the fact that you should write an SI with your results from the drag-and-click game Yasss, this needs to happen I'm ngl, I'm kinda doing a series of Morley SI oneshots for my Music Is My Muse challenge pieces because this is like the new, weird, totally awkward OTP for me TOO SELF-INDULGENT, TOO SELF-INDULGENT

You know before I watched The 100, I saw Bob's face and then I found out his name was BOB and I was like "what hot ass man is named BOB" and I'm still a lil pressed about this but his hot face is helping.

Anywho, I'm really loving the detail in this story. It's not like TOO much where it's unnecessary, it's like good, subtle detail. I don't know if I explained that properly, but I like it a lot.

I'm only a fourth through this but already my favorite line is, "Bob had managed to win her dog over..." because LMAO you cannot be apart of someone's life if their dog doesn't approve of you. Dogs > Boys lbr

Okay now I'm finished and I thought this was so cute! I loved the little snapshots of their life and then leading up to the moment of their fight. I think that was done really well. Also I love the way you write, like I said before, it's like simple but not...I REALLY don't know how to explain this, clearly, but it's different I think. I don't think a lot of people write like that so it's cool.

And just to clarify, because I am a lil confused, the part at the beginning, where her and Bob aren't speaking, happened after she said whatever she said to him when they were about the move in? That part was a lil unclear but just making sure.

But yeah, this is soooo cute. Lowkey wanna write my own Bob (OR MURPHY EH? EH?) self-insert story because they're just so cute. Like DAT ME AND DIS HOT ASS BOY, you know? Okay I'm rambling, I'm gonna leave now. I loved this a whole lot

@ swell

That's fine because it took me a while to reply to your lovely comment because I wanted to be able to sit down and give you an equally thought-out response because you took the time to give me such an amazing and thought-out comment and I feel like I need to do it justice So here it goes...don't say I didn't warn you

I'm so just...honored, I guess, that you would feel that way because I do try really hard to make everything come off as authentic and real because I feel like I'm always having to kind of work to overcome the preconceived notions that come along with fanfiction because there is that stereotype, especially adding on the fact that I write self-insertion I mean, I feel like just because one half of a couple happens to be relatively famous or work in a certain field doesn't necessarily mean that their life is perfect or that being in a relationship with them would be all rainbows and sunshine BUT MOVING ON, I do try my best to stay true to myself, and if I'm being completely honest, all of this is pretty much the reason why my last relationship ended I don't do well with commitment, I don't do well with letting people close to me, and when I feel like people are getting too close to me and that I'm beginning to need them too much, I push them away and act so ugly that they don't want to be around me anymore #therapysession.

Okay, can I be completely honest and admit that I DON'T LIKE HIS NAME EITHER I feel like I can roll with "Bobby," but "Bob" reminds me of one of my college bio professors who was this huge, burly Jewish man. Not exactly sexy

But I'm glad that you found a lot of those characteristics relatable to a pint because I feel like they kinda make me crazy ::twtich: I feel like most people would be over-the-moon to have a guy tell them that they love him, but with me, it's just like, "okay, you're getting too attached, this is getting too serious, gotta go devise my escape plan now "

And dno't feel bad about the criticism! Honestly, though I feel pretty good about the first two or three chunks of it, I did rush through the last half of it just to get it finished by the contest So I'm definitely going to go in and expand some parts a bit more, but I feel like I need to get some time away from it first before I can go back in This is what happens when I crank out a oneshot in the course of a weekend when it usually takes me a month to finish something That being said, I'm a lot more excited about the other Morley fic I'm working on because I feel like it's so much better and honors bae in the way that he deserves

But thanks so much for all the love, girl! I definitely appreciate you taking the time to leave me such a thoguhtful comment

okay so like I read this the other day but I wasn't really in the mood to give a thoughtful comment so TAKE TWO BITCHES

As always, I fkn love reading your stuff because besides from being probably one of my favourite writers on here, you never fail to wow me with how good you are. Your writing feels so realistic and even though it is a fan-fic, it doesn't take away the 'fakeness' that fanfics can have. Like this could read as a true story and I would totally believe it. I hope that made sense I think one of the reasons it seems so real is that you include characteristics of yourself that are so relatable to other people and not just these superficial flaws that other characters can have (ie being clumsy is cute or being blunt but the boy finds it cute whatever), and like, when I was reading this I couldn't help but think ME ME ME in terms of the fight or flight knee jerk reaction stuff. I TOTALLY FEEL YOU SO HARD ON THAT SHIT. The way that you transitioned from the past and the present was done really smoothly, and I loved reading how fkn cute Bob was (though if I had a criticism it would say I'm not a fan of the name Bobby. Or Bob. But it's not like that can be helped ) and how he and Kandi were able to be light and banterous but you could FEEL that the two had some deep love for each other, which was cool. Also the sex scene was great, as always. Description is the best.

When you described the moment of Bob uttering that he loved Kandi, oh man that felt too real to me. I haven't exactly felt those feelings but the fact that I can definitely see it happening. The way you described having high walls for yourself was me going ME ME ME. Also picking a fight: ME ME ME. I love how Kandi owned up to what she was doing and why she was doing it, and even though it didn't make the situation any better for her to lash out at Bob, it was still interesting to read. And it definitely made me feel for Kandi so much more than if it had been not included.

I'm a sucker for happy endings, so I'm super glad that Bob and Kandi was able to be resolved, especially since Kandi was the one that did the work. Which was good, because Bob going back to Kandi never would have worked out well. Reading that last line was me thinking 'oh man this is sad BUT SO TRUE YES HOPE'. So I like that I've ended this story with a sense of hope and fulfillment.

Overall, I really liked it, though if I were to give criticism (I don't think I've ever given you criticism before so this is new to me ) it would be that it felt a little rushed, I couldn't pinpoint where but the whole feel of it felt like you could definitely stretch the story out a little into even two parts. Another thing was that while I adore your writing (and you know this is true ), I definitely feel like it's not your best work. It's still great obvs but I know you can write better (I think Stella Polaris will be one of those stories that I hope you return to because it's the one I keep going back to every few months or so. OR LITTLE BIRD I FKN LOVE THAT ONE). Other than that, flawless as always. KEEP DOIN WHAT YOU'RE DOIN ps I want more Bob Morley stories ty

@ swell

I TRY TO DO RIGHT BY BAE, I TRY TO DO RIGHT
D'aww, thank you Hopefully, I'll have it up tonight? Maybe?

bae looks so beautiful in this
I'm pumped to love the f out of this and shower it in comments and love