December 16th, 2008 at 01:37am
First off, I'm surprised this story doesn't have the comments and such it deserves.(Perhaps too many mibbians are reading too much badly written fan fiction slash to appreciate a well-written story like this?
) Anyway, generally a story like this I would have just shrugged off and thrown into my bookmarked folder of "Too Long" mibba stories (yeah, I actually count stories with thirteen chapters to be too long for my attention span :XD) But since I saw you wrote "Yours In Murder" as well, I decided to read it.
For a story like this I was expecting it be to be a Ray fan fic from My Chemical Romance. Instead I was glad to see the exact opposite.
Anyway, so I felt completely sucked into this story from my minute I was reading it. Even though it's not horror, slash, or femmeslash, which is the stuff I'm into, rather than any form of a hetero stories :XD
But this is seriously just amazing. I don't think I have any words to describe how much I love it.
And I'm not gonna lie, normally in stories there's always characters I can't stand. Most of the time it's the main characters with them being stereotypical of being emo/scene and stuff :cheese:
But I think you did extremely well on making the two sisters so different. I love them both in their own ways that if they ever got into a fist fight or something, I don't know who'd I'd root for! :tehe:
And I thought the funeral for Simon's mom was done wonderfully. And I loved the romance (and even thought it was cute :omfg:) between him and Victoria.
I believe this is one of the best stories I've read in general, and it wasn't even slash or anything to what I usual read.
By all means, don't stop writing this story, please, it's truly amazing :D
Anyway, very touching chapter. I loved the argument you put between Mai and her mom. You seemed to fill up the seriousness and anger without having to use the constant "said" and describing their emotions.
I feel kind of bad for Ray, but at the same time I'm glad Mai isn't bothering to hold what she thinks back. You did well on making the sisters so different.
Updating, soon, please <3