Raving Loony - Comments

When I first began my quest to judge these, I thought for sure this would be a Luna Lovegood story. It is a much more pleasant surprise to see that you've decided to take on an original character (and that she's part of Next Gen!) I can definitely see Harry's son taking after his namesakes, so it's interesting that you've decided to make him follow the Marauder's in personality.

Chapter 1: When it comes to writing the Malfoy family post-war, I always see harshness that lasts just a few years until something can paint Draco in a good light. Never once did I think about how unrealistic it was that his family would be stuck with the cold feelings that came with his reputation. Your Kings Cross scene is eerily realistic, and quite well written. The snake bit is my absolute favorite, though. Complete with the classic that is serious/Sirius, your chapter finished on the perfect cliff-hanging note. These are just the type of antics that I'd expect out of the next generation of kids. // children farewells with = farewell // attending Hogwarts school = School // Raven. make sure = Make // slit eyed = slit-eyed // it slither back up = slithered

Chapter 2: This Fred boy is really quite interesting. It seems to me like he and Raveena would get along nicely. Certainly she'd get along with James once he learned to be nicer, too. The ride to Hogwarts seems to be every bit of fun that one could wish for. This was a perfect way to introduce the personalities of who I assume will be your focal characters. // "trust me, Slytherin = Trust // the Malfoy's = Malfoys

Chapter 3: Raveena seemed like she'd be so quiet and well-behaved, so I like that James' antics bring out a new side of her personality. Leave it to him to know that you can influence the Sorting Hat's choice of house. Though Gryffindor and Slytherin are common houses for main characters, it seems fitting that a someone who descends from a long line of Slytherins would be placed into Gryffindor. Small facts like the relation between Raveena and Molly make this story so enjoyable. I wish there would have been a little more development as far as the houses go, but the detail of the Mischievous Five makes up for it~ // glared at them = glaring // "shh," he silenced = Shh // death ears = deaf ears // Prove to everyone that there was no good people and then death eaters. = It seems as if this sentence needs to be re-worded, or perhaps it's just missing punctuation and going over my head. // The mix attitude of hostility and good naturedly expressions = The mixed attitudes of hostility and good-natured expressions // Fore tradition = For

I hope you don't mind that I've pointed out typos and a few errors, I figured it could help speed along any editing. This was seriously good! I can't wait for an update Keep an eye out for your messages and comments as the winners of Project Potter will be announced shortly!

I do hope you'll update soon

Update please. I was enjoying this story so much and you've just vanished I miss this story!

Oh I have fallen in love with this story! I can't wait for an update! Update soon!

Oh I have fallen in love with this story! I can't wait for an update! Update soon!