I really liked this! The summary was intriguing and your writing is amazing. Everything flowed nicely from chapter to chapter and the storyline was creative. Nice job with this.
This story is written so incredibly well, it kills me! I love how you've set up the characters, everyone completely normal and a sociopath with mind controlling powers. It's really unquie and creative! I really wish that you were going to contuine this story, I want to see more of the plot and characters develop! I've subscribed just in case!
I love how smooth this is written. Just like always, you string words so perfectly, like it's meant to be published or something. Something I noticed in your writing is that it's like an ocean. It's smooth and it's clear and when there's some twist (a wave), you freaking ride that wave like a badass. You have this way of controlling yours words and many people, like myself, would love this gift.
Evan's speech omg. I just loved the way he spoke and said his words. It was realistic and it was sweet. But I couldn't help but notice this line, "I asked him if he knew how great my sister was and he said that he knew even before he ever spoke to her." It stood out like a sore thumb to me. I mean, I would've thought this was cute if it wasn't for this contest. IT WAS CREEPY AND STRAIGHT UP CRIMINAL MINDS CONTENT
Evan is that type of sibling He's full of joy and laughter and I like that about him
It was so nice to have Evan introduce Cal and Roy's relationship. Evan's view on the couple is important, I think, for what's about to unfold.
Okay okay I know I'm suppose to dislike him because of his impatient attitude and his first impression on me but ahhhh I gotta give him a chance because it seems like Cal sees something in him people don't. Or she's tied to him. Idk.
Oop, I dislike him now. He aches control. He has a short temper. He's impatient but he listens to his wife's wishes to a limit. Oh goodness, I am poorly profiling this character of yours???
Roy's actions and his intention are sweet but it's too extreme and board line psychotic. You captured this side of Roy perfectly.
WAIT HER MOM?! what's wrong with her mom o m g I didn't see this coming
But why would she call her daughter there if she knew she'd be in danger? Like, she's just hurting the two of them??? :( Is Cal some FBI or cop or something?? lol nah Cal probs not.....
DID ROY JUST LIKE PLAYED THE HERO CARD (still snappy but still omg) wait yooooo does he have a connection to The Court????? like he would only do this if he knew how to handle guys like this whoop my head is spinning wait what the hell Roy why r u saying sorry
OH DONT TWIST THINGS UP AND KILL CAL ANDHER MOM I think I'm getting ahead of myself lol jk I'm just thought
Oooooooh shit That mind control stuff waS REAL?! I just thought Roy was a control freak o m g I kinda believe he forced her into loving him ahhhh I wanna be wrong but.....
Roy's demand at the end of chapter six.....my god. I hate that he sounded like he was controlling her BUT it could just be something simple and only a sentence. UGH IDK LOL.
Shit he just controlled her at the end of chapter 7. I mean, she was crying and then she was smiling, thinking it's gonna be alright? WHAT THE HELL.
HE IS MAD. I bet he controlled her mom I want someone to break his mind control powers (aka cal) BC THIS GUY IS BASICALLY GETTING AWAY WITH MURDER and that ain't right
Loved what you did with this entry! I thought the pace was quick the moment Cal's mother came into the story, intentional or not, and it was interesting. The entire situation of Roy was masked greatly. Everything was over the edge, so great job, Rav!
Holy mother of god. That summary is intense, absolutely brilliant. Seriously it makes me want to kiss you. I'm so ready to dig in to this. But not before telling you that I'm in love with this layout as well.
One. Straight from the beginning I was sucked in. I want to know more about the couple, they're just so intriguing. Evan is also quite hilarious. The insight into Calliope's feelings was also very well grounded. The fact that she too wasn't big into the party was a nice touch.
Two. This is just so great. Roy definitely has a temper. It's a bit creepy how he mind controlled everyone to set up that meeting though, it definitely outweighs the sweetness factor.
And now holy shit. What just happened?
Three. I find myself asking when was the last time she saw her mom? Where has she been?
This chapter is so intense. First I was sitting here thinking her mom is crazy, and now I'm just sitting here thinking "what the hell."
Four. Woah woah woah woah woah. Now THAT was intense.
I really want to learn more about Roy. I also wonder how this is going to affect the relationship between Calliope and Elizabeth?
I seriously love this story so much already. I'm so gladded I clicked on it. Subscribed and recommended.