Summary: I really love the summary and how you capture the reader without giving too much away.
One: I love your word choices in this, you create amazing imagery which is something I really enjoy in stories. I felt like I was in the bathroom with Draco. You do a beautiful job showing rather than telling. A Malfoy was supposed to be beautiful, handsome, attractive. Right now, this little Malfoy looked like a person who’d seen more than his fair share in his 17 years. And he has. DRACO MY POOR BABY.
I've never actually read a story where Draco gets abused, but I like how you incorporated it in here. His life isn't as perfect as everyone makes it out to be.
At first I was confused by the sudden change between Draco to Harry, but once I saw Draco's name it made more sense.
“Who what, Potter?” he spat out. I could just hear Draco saying that. Oh my God.
AH I'M GONNA CRY READING THIS, HARRY YOU LOVELY HUMAN, YOU.
AH IT WAS SUCH A LOVELY ONE-SHOT AND I LOVE THE WAY IT ENDED! Draco and Harry coming together because of something so horrible happening in both of their lives just- fffff.
I didn't see a single mistake and everything flowed super well. Good job!!
I really love the summary and how you capture the reader without giving too much away.
One:
I love your word choices in this, you create amazing imagery which is something I really enjoy in stories. I felt like I was in the bathroom with Draco. You do a beautiful job showing rather than telling.
A Malfoy was supposed to be beautiful, handsome, attractive. Right now, this little Malfoy looked like a person who’d seen more than his fair share in his 17 years. And he has. DRACO MY POOR BABY.
I've never actually read a story where Draco gets abused, but I like how you incorporated it in here. His life isn't as perfect as everyone makes it out to be.
At first I was confused by the sudden change between Draco to Harry, but once I saw Draco's name it made more sense.
“Who what, Potter?” he spat out. I could just hear Draco saying that. Oh my God.
AH I'M GONNA CRY READING THIS, HARRY YOU LOVELY HUMAN, YOU.
AH IT WAS SUCH A LOVELY ONE-SHOT AND I LOVE THE WAY IT ENDED! Draco and Harry coming together because of something so horrible happening in both of their lives just- fffff.
I didn't see a single mistake and everything flowed super well. Good job!!