April 5th, 2016 at 04:24am
Layout + Summary
I love the layout. It makes me think of the sun setting for some reason. And mingled with the banner and lyrics, I have the feeling that this story will romantic but sad. Let's find out if I'm correct
Chapter: 001. I'm just in awe of what's in front of me
Aha, aw! Joshua is my older cousin's name. I had a crush on him when I was younger
(he was one of those guys that took care of everyone and was there for everyone, you know? But he's changed a lot. 
)his teeth were white as one.
^ may just be me, but I feel like this should read as white.
God, I want to cry. I guess because part of me has always sort of wanted someone I could be close to (aha as if, though)
This is beautifully written. I love the emotional impact it has that just seems to continue growing and going till you get to the ending. If you're serious about writing more, I'm totally subbing, because I'd love to read more. (Although part of me feels like it would mess up the vibe. But screw that, give me more!)
I really liked the way your used descriptions to describe Joshua, I felt like I knew exactly what kind of person he is just by the way you talked about his manmerisms and such. I can definitely see why Felece had a crush on him, he seemed like such a sweetheart.
As much the hopeless romantic in me was hoping they would end up together, I really like how you used the lyrics and made it into a friendship that couldn't be more because of distance type situation. It fit really well and I loved that.
The only thing I wanted to mention is to be careful of choppy sentences. In a few paragraphs, there were quite a few really short sentences all in a row, which made them a kind of choppy to read and broke up your flow a bit.
Other than that though, great job! I really enjoyed this.