Saved - Comments

The layout matches up with the summary bit for Terezi very well, and perhaps the blind girl from Vriska's bit. They both sound really interesting!


It had never occurred to me that Terezi was the blind girl. That's definitely a twist. I also like that you've given a lot of details as to how she gets around. Though I made friends with a few blind kids in the past, it's not something I ever gave much thought to.

Karkat seems really... I dunno. I'm interested in his character, mostly because he strikes me as insanely rude. I like how everyone seems really interesting - there's not really any cliches here so far. And everyone has really interesting names!

There were a few mistakes: or doesn’t tries to use their - and doesn't try to use her

Hey there!
First off, I really like your layout. It sets the mood of the story, and the banner feels just... right. It simple and beautiful. (: Now, the story.
Chapter 1
To be honest, the dream part had me confused. Was she dreaming the whole thing since the beginning or did I just not get it? Besides that, though, the writing is fantastic and your description is excellent. I really like Terezi and how confident she is. It was, all over, a fun chapter to read, especially because of the conversations. (:
Chapter 2
Hahaaha! Honestly, this chapter was cute. Vriska is interesting, I especially like how she doesn't seem to care about anything lol Jokes aside, this was a good chapter. Short, but good. Things just got interesting too. But I really think you should try to reduce the number of "!!" marks you put after a statement. They're kinda distracting. Or maybe its just me. xD
Chapter 3
The best chapter so far. It's good that its written in a serious tone. But I really don't get Terezi and her ex's relationship. Why would she accept all of it just because he threatened her? And why would she love him too? Maybe I'm judging too soon. I'll read more of this later on, 'cause right now I have a class xD

Anyway, all over its a good story with an engaging plot and beautiful writing. I'll rec and sub and let ya know of the later chapters later on. (:

I very much like the layout. Simple, easy to read and very beautiful.
The summary is nice. It gives just enough to drag me into reading the first chapter and at the same time gives insight to the main characters.

I want to start by saying that the first chapter is a bit confusing. I assumed the first part was actual reality but then she wakes up and its a dream? Am I getting that right? And that in this dream she can perceive and taste colors? Was Terezi dreaming of the day she met the group or was it just a weird, random dream?

Short of a few paragraphing errors where it looks like you either accidently hit enter or didn't hit enter enough the story looks great.
Grammatically everything looks amazing too with the exception of "She isn’t completely full of shit or doesn’t tries to use their disability to get pity!". It should probably read along the lines of "She isn't completely full of shit and try to use her disability to get pity." As it is right now, its reads really awkwardly.
All in all the story is beautiful and I'm liking where its going. I think it has some really get potential to be an amazing story.

I very much like the layout. Simple, easy to read and very beautiful.
The summary is nice. It gives just enough to drag me into reading the first chapter and at the same time gives insight to the main characters.

I want to start by saying that the first chapter is a bit confusing. I assumed the first part was actual reality but then she wakes up and its a dream? Am I getting that right? And that in this dream she can perceive and taste colors? Was Terezi dreaming of the day she met the group or was it just a weird, random dream?

Short of a few paragraphing errors where it looks like you either accidently hit enter or didn't hit enter enough the story looks great.
Grammatically everything looks amazing too with the exception of "She isn’t completely full of shit or doesn’t tries to use their disability to get pity!". It should probably read along the lines of "She isn't completely full of shit and try to use her disability to get pity." As it is right now, its reads really awkwardly.
All in all the story is beautiful and I'm liking where its going. I think it has some really get potential to be an amazing story.