Heartbeat Melody - Comments

I really liked this. The layout itself looks awesome & it's an easy read. The summary is what caught my attention and drew me into this story. It give me "the feels" while reading this story. if that makes sense? I can't really think of how else to word it haha. I'm usually not the biggest fan of one-shots, but I really did enjoy reading this. Almost makes me wish I had someone that I could connect to like that. Awesome job with it!

Layout
I love the simplicity of the layout, but it also speaks volumes, if that makes sense.

Summary
Once again, the summary is simple, but speaks loads of volumes. I can already tell this is going to be super sweet and will probably make my teeth rot and fall out, but in the best way possible.

One/One
I love how you set up the mood in the first paragraph. The couple laying in the darkness together, but with a little light coming in. It sounds so relaxing and gave me a really good mental picture of the room.

Everything you said came together beautifully. You could really tell that there was a lot of love, simply by describing their movements. I personally loved the fact that there wasn't dialogue. You said it all with your descriptions. I got to see a sneak peak at two people that really loved one another, and I appreciated that so much.

I personally didn't see any mistakes. This was a beautiful one-shot. Well done!

Layout + Summary

A simple layout with a pretty cute banner. And I adore the title. However, the summary makes me think of that movie Human Centipede for some reason

Chapter 1: comfortable and calculated

Let me just stop right there. lol The title of this chapter has me on guard. I connect the word calculated with crime and murders.

but the kept
^they

Your detailing is so beautiful it renders me speechless. I swear.

I really love this. How descriptive it is, how I can just see it as if I'm standing in the room with them, watching it all unfold before me. I could almost hear the whirl of the fan as it spun.

A very lovely work of art. I'm glad I read it

I agree about the layout. It's simple, but sets the mood perfectly for what is about to happen.

This was so beautiful. I never could imagine such a small amount of time being written like this. I'm in love. You capture the peaceful mood perfectly and your imagery was simple but yet I could still see a movie in my head. I like the lack of dialogue as well. The fact that dialogue isn't present in this story captures the love between the two characters better I think.

The only error I found was the one Alex Moore. had already pointed out. Otherwise, I didn't see anything.

Again, this was beautiful. Definitely recommending it.

First off, props to you on the title and layout. It is very sophisticated and I like it very much.
Now on to the story (sorry I do judge a book by its cover a bit too much I think)

You have a gift for immediately setting the mood. I love how you start with describing the surroundings.
It starts off so serene and so sweet. I think this is the most beautiful way to describe lovemaking or kissing or whatever it is they do, that I have ever read.

Minor little error:
- but the kept the blanket over them (is it supposed to be but they kept the blanket over them?)

Keep this up, because this desciption doesnt tell me anything of the overal plotline you have me curious!

First off, props to you on the title and layout. It is very sophisticated and I like it very much.
Now on to the story (sorry I do judge a book by its cover a bit too much I think)

You have a gift for immediately setting the mood. I love how you start with describing the surroundings.
It starts off so serene and so sweet. I think this is the most beautiful way to describe lovemaking or kissing or whatever it is they do, that I have ever read.

Minor little error:
- but the kept the blanket over them (is it supposed to be but they kept the blanket over them?)

Keep this up, because this desciption doesnt tell me anything of the overal plotline you have me curious!

You've taken such a short scene - they were laying together and then they kiss - and made it into a piece of art... with words. I love the way that everything was described, so simple, yet so beautiful. The fact that there was never a simple sort of sentence as "they kissed, for example, was so amazing. Something else I really liked loved about this was that there was no dialogue; everything was just described in the most beautiful way that dialogue, I feel, would have ruined the magical, cute feel of this sort scene.

If you couldn't already tell, but I really enjoyed reading this. It was cute, wonderful, and magical.

What a lovely, delicate little piece. You have such a gorgeous way with words.