Before - Comments

I'm here judging the entries for my A Penny for a Song contest!

Layout / Summary
The layout for this is very simple and classy -- works very well with the context of the lyrics that you've used! It's very easy to read and isn't at all distracting, so it's definitely a massive boost in terms of graphic design for that!

The summary itself is very small and doesn't give away too much, but the lyrics you've used in the summary are probably my favourite C&C lyrics ever so I'm a fan of that, ha. I'm also interested to see how you work this alongside the fandom you've chosen because the lyrics are so very apt for Bucky, I think.

Content
I've always been really interested in Bucky as a character, because he just seems so real to me. He's got this inner conflict that's really interesting to read about as well and I think you've captured this beautifully here. You write about how he has this push between the world that he used to know and the world that he now knows -- I think that's a really lovely addition, because it just brings that conflict that we all know and love to the forefront of the story, and it just makes him seem more... I don't know, human? That sounds really silly, but it removes him from this traditional role of 'villain' and pushes him into this tortured soul role that I think he really suits. You've definitely managed to capture his character really well, especially in the first paragraph or so.

What I especially love about this piece, though, is this sense of non-resolution. Normally, you get a resolution of some sort that ends the piece, but you've just got this open-ended final paragraph. We don't know what happens, we don't know whether he's going to succeed. There's this sense of desperation and a sense that his fight is futile. It works in so well with this idea that Hydra's grip on him hasn't been fully released, and that he's still struggling between this super-soldier and human split that he seems to have. It makes for a really good read.

Concrit
The only suggestion I have has already been mentioned below -- 'stealthy' isn't really needed before 'sneaking'. Aside from that, I didn't have too many complaints at all!

Overall
This is a really strong piece. I love the mix between this conflict and the concern that he has for Hydra. The entire piece shows this struggle between the more human side of Bucky and the side that's loyal to Hydra and it's so heartbreaking to read through, especially being a fan of the character. Stunning job!

I love how everything is worded, it's very well written. I agree with @ the cosmos on the stealthy sneaking part, maybe you should try to reword it.

When you say innocents had died at his hands I would recommend saying innocent people, but that is just my opinion.

I love the overall plot of this. I love the minimal dialogue along with so much description. These are some of my favorite stories. You have definitely peaked my interest.

This was strange for me, because I don't watch superhero movies Although I did watch Captain America 3: Civil War, and I do have plenty of friends obsessed with Bucky Barnes.

The writing is very good; I like the wording whatever time it was that swarmed his mind here and there and playing over itself until it was like white noise to his ears.

But in the sentence, "His stealthy sneaking..." the word stealthy shouldn't be there, as sneaking is stealthy by nature, you know? In fact, I'd rewrite that part, and make it maybe something akin to "Crouched low, Bucky slowed to a stop, his lean body..." It just sounds better to me. There are a couple sentences here and there that would benefit from this kind of editing.

Overall, the writing is good, but its not much I can get into as I am not a fan of superhero fanfics. But great imagery!

I am not familiar with this fandom since I've never watched any of the Captain America movies or read the comics. However, I know a bit about Hydra and stuff from some of the blogs I read here. So I apologize in advance for the lack of substance in my comment in regards to the character. I don't know the character enough to know if you do him justice or not.

That aside, I love the overall mood you've set in this story. From the moment Bucky woke up, I can feel his struggle, his hatred towards Hydra from your description. Every word paints a vivid picture in my head about some sort of changes that's happening with him? Correct me if I'm wrong.

I especially love these lines:

"...Among the dried leaves bursting under his heavy-booted steps and crickets singing their songs of summer there was a voice invading his mind. A monotone, distorted whisper. It wasn't a voice that matched up with anyone he'd crossed paths with while destroying Hydra bases. Or was it?"

It just makes me more intrigued to read the rest of the story. Whose voice did he hear? Was it a real voice or was it just in his head?

Throughout the story, I found myself confused in a few parts but I know that's probably due to the fact that I'm not familiar with the fandom. However, all in all, I really do enjoy reading this piece. Your writing style is simple yet very captivating. Your description is flawless and makes my imagination runs wild.

sheesh...i feel so bad for bucky in chapter one :( he's such a tortured soul and you really show that through your writing while still leaving a lot of mystery.

This is a long overdue comment swap from a blog post I put up a bit ago haha:

Two things that I'm not sure about were (1) "to cease moving before he made his moves" I'm not sure if you want to use the word 'move' twice, I think it kind of knocks off the flow but that might just be me and (2) when you write "Among the dried leaves bursting under" I'm not really sure if leaves can 'burst' or if that's the right verb that you want to use?

However, I love the format of your sentences because they really made me feel the dissociation that Bucky was experiencing - especially in the second paragraph when there's a longer opening sentence quickly followed by the shorter sentence "There had to be". I've watched Captain America (and I have such Bucky feels zomg) but it's been a super long time since I ever even thought about it and this little fic definitely brought back up so many feelings that I had about the 'verse and Bucky in general. You did a really great job emphasizing Bucky's state of mind and making the reader feel similarly with your syntax and your writing style, so yeah lol. Poor Bucky :'( but really wonderful piece! I really enjoyed reading it and I think stand alone characterization pieces and character studies like these are super important.

First of all, I love the layout- it compliments everything so well.

Secondly, I have no previous knowledge whatsoever surrounding the character or story line, but you managing to make me want to read more of this and onto the sequel is pretty great considering.

Your words and the way he was seeing and feeling things came to life and I had a ounce of paranoia while I was reading this.

Because this is a one-shot, I'm definitely going to be reading the sequel because you grabbed me here.

The first paragraph really reeled me in. I loved that as Bucky's recovering/running it looks like his mind is kind of stuff in both worlds (now and the past). There were cameras everywhere now, not like back in whatever time it was that swarmed his mind here and there... - This line highlighted that perfectly.

But the length at which Bucky had gone without any form of rest was far too long as of late - I don't know if it was intentional or if I'm just reading too much into it (because I have all the Bucky feels), but I thought this showed how now that Bucky's no longer under Hydra's control (how he's no longer The Asset), he no longer functions the way The Winter Soldier did. I felt like him needing more sleep was a way to show that he's regained his humanity.

The last couple of paragraphs were heartbreaking but also really nicely done. The idea that Bucky might not actually be free of Hydra (or that because of how they broke them he could never be sure that he was free) was really interesting. It adds another horrible layer to Bucky's tragedy.

Overall, I really liked this. Even though it was short, it covered a lot of different aspects of Bucky and what he's been up to since his escape from Hydra. I love the glimpse into his head we got here.

Comment swap! First of all I really like the layout. It is a great stylish and calm thing, but so powerfull at the same time.

Your writing is very good, Its amazing how you get me feeling just as paranoid as bucky when I read it. I have the feeling of looking over my shoulder with every line. I am not familiair with the whole captain america and bucky story (since it never really attracted me to start watching although I know a lot of people are obsessed with it haha) but I really do like this story!

My favorite line was; 'Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.' I truly love the hercules? reference here.

Too bad this is a one shot but I saw there is a sequel to it so I might go check that out as well!

Comment swap! First of all I really like the layout. It is a great stylish and calm thing, but so powerfull at the same time.

Your writing is very good, Its amazing how you get me feeling just as paranoid as bucky when I read it. I have the feeling of looking over my shoulder with every line. I am not familiair with the whole captain america and bucky story (since it never really attracted me to start watching although I know a lot of people are obsessed with it haha) but I really do like this story!

My favorite line was; 'Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.' I truly love the hercules? reference here.

Too bad this is a one shot but I saw there is a sequel to it so I might go check that out as well!

This is from my personal comment swap! I really like the way you set a tone in such a short amount if words. I love that we get inside bucky's head. You leave me wanting more information about what's going on, and I actually really wanted to click on your sequel and keep reading instead of commenting. I love your layout too by the way. It works well with the description and the way the words build.

i haven't read fic in so long, but im so happy to find someone giving bucky some love. bc hot damn.

the paranoia bucky feels is intense & i feel like i can relate (not in the sense that i too am bionic & awesome & shit but this is a serious thing @ work). but also, the raw emotion & passion that is vented from the words you've put together paint a picture from bucky's perspective & i have waited for something like this forEVER.

this is so great bridgette!!