Double, sorry! ><
April 7th, 2016 at 10:12pm
Ok, first, I love the layout. It's so cute, and I notice: LESBIANS! GOD BLESS! YOU ARE A PERSON AFTER MY OWN HEART! Not to mention Olivia and Elisabeth are so cute! (thank you for the diversity)
Chapter One:
Ok, I love this. It's endearing and cute and charming. Olivia is so nervous and is trying so hard not to fall for Elisabeth. Elisabeth is so cute and hyper and perky and wants to make a new friend and it's adorable.
I am a bit confused by "Yours, too. It's–you–you're really. It's really cute." It just seems like the phrasing is a bit strange, so you might want to re-look at that. Other than that, there are just a few missing commas.
Overall, this is so freaking cute. I loved it so much. You really captured your emotion of charmed and had amazing description and I could just feel how Olivia was feeling throughout this. Amazing job!
And I love how it starts like this normal love at first sight fic but then you smack us with Olivia's dilemma and how she still hasn't come out to her dad and it's all breaking my heart in all different pieces. And even though she fights and doesn't want to like Elisabeth but she can't resist the pull. And who's she kidding? She's already in love!