First, can I suggest a trigger warning? Weather it's in the description or every chapter that talks about any kind of self harm? If it's something you considered against in the past, I hope you reconsider it.
Second, I really like this story so far. The writing is simple yet thorough and there's a whimsical feel to this story I'm not sure if it's the theme or word choice but it makes Dahlia seem fragile and ethereal, like an elf.
I think this story benefited from not having a time period being presented nor location because it could create other things for the reader to go off of like in Chapter two, Dahlia noted that the air smelled like salt and the air around her was cool, like she's by the ocean or the sea.
I do however wish you would have described Millie, Constance and Jaden in the story. I think Constance's stern voice/attitude fits well with your picture for him in the characters' box but the story would be more effective with a high amount of detail seeing Dahlia doesn't talk much but, in my opinion, views the people and environment around her.
I like Dahlia's attitude towards getting help from Jaden when she fell off the rocks and her determination to get up herself and trying to convincer herself earlier that she'll remember how to use the gun even though Jaden doesn't seem like he believes in her.
You've done an amazing job so far, I love your style and I think this is going to go far.
Second, I really like this story so far. The writing is simple yet thorough and there's a whimsical feel to this story I'm not sure if it's the theme or word choice but it makes Dahlia seem fragile and ethereal, like an elf.
I think this story benefited from not having a time period being presented nor location because it could create other things for the reader to go off of like in Chapter two, Dahlia noted that the air smelled like salt and the air around her was cool, like she's by the ocean or the sea.
I do however wish you would have described Millie, Constance and Jaden in the story. I think Constance's stern voice/attitude fits well with your picture for him in the characters' box but the story would be more effective with a high amount of detail seeing Dahlia doesn't talk much but, in my opinion, views the people and environment around her.
I like Dahlia's attitude towards getting help from Jaden when she fell off the rocks and her determination to get up herself and trying to convincer herself earlier that she'll remember how to use the gun even though Jaden doesn't seem like he believes in her.
You've done an amazing job so far, I love your style and I think this is going to go far.