How to Love - Comments

I LOVED THIS STORY! I loved how it was in text messages. It was super creative and really interesting to read. This was a really powerful story. I loved how the drama built up rapidly. I felt so bad for John. He seemed like a bleeding heart, and a good caring guy. Normally in stories like this I would hate Avery, but I don't. I'm disappointed in her. I'm glad in the end she is happy, and it seems like Jon really still loves her.

10/10
AMAZING JOB!

I really love that this is written with text messages. It builds a lot of intrigue in just a few words, which makes it fun to read. I kept clicking for the next chapter, wanting to figure out why she was so scared of commit. I think this is really great so far, and I would love to see a sequel. I personally would stick with the text messages, with small bits of description as you have this now, and then for the sequel, do full chapters. I'd still keep thing relatively short though, maybe around a thousand words. That's just my opinion, though.

This is wonderful! Also, your layout is beautiful.

I liked that the summary was really short for this story. I'm quite partial to one-liner summaries myself, so I always like seeing them.

Stories written as messages or letters are one of my favourite types of stories, I just find it so cool to read them. I liked that you don't just rely on the text messages and give us some of Avery's thoughts/emotions. It helps round out the story so we have a bit more of an idea about what's going on.

In those little descrptive bits though, be careful not to leave them too open-ended or make them too...dramatic? I'v found it's a slippery slope from leaving something to the reader's imagination to getting really cliche with the story. It's much easier to fall into the cliche pit than it is to be specific with descriptive parts like that, and I'd hate to see that happen here!

On a similar note, be careful not to make things too...dramatic, I guess would be the word I'm looking for. It can make the story seem unrealistic, and readers will have a harder time relating to it when they read. Like here:
If he ever found out the truth, then he would run and that’s not something Avery was prepared for.
Things that that seem a tad dramatic to me, if you get what I'm saying. That's just my opinion though!

Overall, this seems like it has a lot of potential

I like that the summary was a one liner, since it was quite an impactful one. Whilst I wouldn't necessarily say that the one-liner hooked me (it's hard to do that with a line alone ) it definitely did intrigue me to read more and to know why she's scared of commitment. I also love the layout, but Sam's genius so it's expected~

Chapter One

I actually really love stories that are set out in letter or text message form. I'm not even sure why, I just think it's really cool. I think it gives a bit more of a personal feel to the story, which you've done well. The only thing I'm a bit concerned about is the ambiguity - it is hard to tell which person is sending which text message, so maybe adding a name or perhaps having one person in italics and another not in italics may work to help differentiate between the speakers.

I like that you tell us Avery's emotions, it gives the story an even better personal feel and builds the character well. I'm interested to know what the truth is about Avery - unless the truth is that she's scared of commitment? A criticism I have though, is that there's a bit too much telling and not enough showing when it comes to the narration outside of text. Perhaps instead of telling us Avery's emotions, you could show us through her body language.

I am liking the first chapter though, definitely intrigued.

Chapter Two

Ohh, backstory, nice~ I feel like there's something fishy going on with him, considering he's a bad boy and apparently chose Avery over girls prettier than her? Then again, since it is Avery's point of view, we know beauty is subjective and all that. Though, I think telling him he's the boy we wouldn't take home to our parents and then saying he's a bad boy is a bit unnecessary, since I think the reader would understand he's a bad boy from the first statement. Maybe describing him a bit would help?

beautiful face tomorrow." - you accidentally added a speech mark here

He's a bit full on, I think, with the whole marrying thing. No wonder Avery didn't respond, it probably freaked her out. He's lovely to her, but he definitely seems just a bit too full on. I don't think I'm liking his character so far, I feel like he might change or show his true colours at some point.

Chapter Three

I knew something was up, that he wouldn't really take it well. That's what he gets for being so attached and asking her to marry him so early on Then again, she did stay with him for a few years, so I'm intrigued to know why she decided to leave him now, instead of early on when he was showing really strange signs with the whole marriage thing. Though I do think she should have told him the truth, I wonder if she ever will.

As for her reason, I'm not sure what it could be because I don't think there were any hints to what it could be, unless it is the fact she's scared of commitment which isn't a surprise since you already told us in the summary I do want to find out what the reason is though, you've set up a really intriguing story and I can't wait to see what else you have in store. I hope we learn more about the guy, too, since maybe he did something wrong for her to leave? Or maybe the reasoning lies with her.

A good story, can't wait to read more!

Overall

I think this story is intriguing, definitely. And I like the touch of having the text messages in ever chapter since it gives the story a more personal feel, but however, I think there are a few problems here and there, one of them being that the people speaking in the texts should probably be differentiated in some ways since some parts were a little confusing. I think having more detail and more show not tell would really help the story as well. Otherwise, I think this is definitely intriguing and I can't wait to find out more, about Avery and her ex-boyfriend, as well as her reasons for breaking up with him.

Oh, I'm ready for this one! I'm so curious to find out what's up. I like the whole text message thing. I really do. I was not sure about it at first but I like it a lot. I also like that the chapters are short and simple. Please add more.