Like This, You Keep Them Alive - Comments

double, sorry!

Chapter Four

I like how you added in the anniversary of Eli's mother's death. It was so powerful. Also, the fact that Eli ends up texting Jasper just goes to show how close they've gotten, even if Eli only wants him there so he isn't alone. There's an understand there between them that I still adore.

And I love love love x37489374 the fact that Jasper sat with him through it, just like Eli had sat with him when Jasper needed him. He could've walked away, but he didn't.

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God, Eli confronting his father was so emotional and it killed me inside. Just knowing how much everything bubbled to the surface after years of being ignored, and I really hoped his dad would say something. Eli's anger, in my opinion, was justified because it seemed like he really hadn't let that anger out. He hadn't let himself blow up like that, especially when it came to his father.

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“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m – I’m sorry.” You rubbed your hands hard against your jeans. “I don’t know what happened.”

Eli, shhh, your mom would forgive youuuu.

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It was a question that people couldn’t bring themselves to ask because they didn’t want the answer.

I loved this line.

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IS JASPER ASKING HIM ON A DATE BECAUSE IF HE IS I'M GONNA SCREAM. I really hope Eli says yes. If anything it'll get him out of the house and oh man, I just really really want it to happen.

YES, HE SAID YES! Even if it's not a date, I'm super happy!

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I feel really bad for Jasper, especially knowing what happened to his little sister, but I also think it's good that he finally told Eli, especially since they already understand one another.

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and you smiled because it felt okay for once.

Aaaaaaa

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THEY'RE TALKING! YES, I'M SO GLAD! Okay, let's hope it goes well...

I'm so glad his dad is going to try harder! This scene warmed my heart and I'm so glad, omg.

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Quote

JASPER // 3:16PM
Miserable Birthday then!!

I love Jasper... so much.

DID JASPER DO SOMETHING FOR HIS BIRTHDAY???? Okay, it doesn't seem like it, but still, awww. And Eli's dad actually ate a birthday dinner with him and it sounds like it went well, I'm so happy for him tbh, despite the fact that doesn't like birthdays, of course.

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Okay, so here's my thought process right now: OH MY GOD, THEY JUST KISSED. JASPER TOUCHED HIM AND THEN THEY KISSED AND I'M SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT, OMG. LOOK AT THAT. THERE'S THE ITCHING PALMS, HEART RISING IN THE THROAT. T HAT'S LIKE, PRETTY DAMN CLOSE TO LOVE I HOPE ELI IS HAPPY. I HOPE JASPER IS HAPPY.

YES, THEY'RE HAPPY. DLFJLJF

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I love that things with Eli's dad is getting better and that he told his mom about Jasper. It was such a tender moment that I loved seeing. Knowing that he still tells his mom everything, I mean.

AND THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS. YES, GOOD!

AND THEY STILL HAVE THEIR LITTLE QUIPS THAT I LOVE SO MUCH!

And the end. THE END WAS SO GOOD! I WANT TO SCREAM ABOUT IT FOREVER BUT I CAN'T, SO I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVED THE ENDING SO MUCH!

This was such an amazing read. I decided to take so much time reading it because I didn't want it to end. I love Eli and Jasper, and I loved reading about how they came to know one another and trust one another. This was seriously such a beautiful, amazing read. Bless you!!!

Chapter Three

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Jasper said, “Because there’s a serial killer on the loose that’s targeting cute boys and I’m genuinely worried you’re next.”

Jasper, please.

And Eli's reaction is so cute, kill me seven times, please. The fact that it had been years since he'd been called cute and just Jasper being smooth as hell (part of me wonders if he knew that would happen).

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It had stopped feeling like home when you started feeling like an unwelcomed guest.

Ouch.

I just- really, really love Jasper. I love how sarcastic he is about everything, even the most morbid of topics.

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I really loved this bit of Eli's past. The way it not only effected him and his father, but the entire family. The way his uncle hugged him for the first time, his grandmother was secretly relieved, while his Nana only wanted to bake and knit. His aunt treating Eli like her son. It all makes sense and is part of loss (well, except for his grandmother).

The bit where his father stayed up talking to his brother about moving killed me inside. It makes sense that he'd want to move away, but I think it's good he didn't? I feel like things would've been a lot worse for him.

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You discovered in that moment that the weight of the words would never change, no matter the time that passed, no matter the delivery you gave.

I really loved this line, because there really is no casual way of saying it. The weight will always be there.

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Uh oh, I bet it's Jasper at the door.

Ding dong, I was right! Oh man, I'm really wondering how Eli's going to react. I'm thinking anger, tbh. Yup, I was right again.

ELI, AWE! You sweet bean, you. I like the way he stayed with Jasper and didn't just shut him out. That was really sweet of him and, in my opinion, a big step for him.

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God, I still live for their quips back and forth. I know I've said that a lot at this point, but I really do love them, and I will continue to say it for the rest of my life. Eli and Jasper just go so well together.

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he dipped his breakfast sausage in maple syrup, which you were fine openly making a disgusted face at him for.

Same, Eli, same.

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I relate to Jasper's sentiments on smoking, tbh. And I love that you put that in this.

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“I don’t know. Distant, uncaring almost. It’s like you just don’t care.”

For some reason, I love that Jasper finally asked a question like this. I feel like it shows just how comfortable Jasper is around him, if that makes sense. Like, it's one thing to take someone out for pancakes, and it's another to ask someone a question like that. Then again, Jasper is pretty straightforward, so that might not have been what you were going for.

God, and Eli's response killed me. And then Jasper's, and the fact that Eli finally laughed in front of him. Like, a real laugh. Idk, it was just really nice to see that, even if it wasn't completely there.

Chapter Two

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Frankly, you didn’t know how you felt about him because sometimes—when he was especially quiet—you could handle his presence, but a lot of the times—when he wouldn’t shut up—you wanted him to go away.

I can see why Eli would want some peace and quiet while visiting his mother, but at the same time, I want to shake him and say, 'HONEY, HERE IS A BOY THAT WILL BE THERE FOR YOU. TALK TO HIM.'

AHHH, JASPER STARTS BRINGING HIM COFFEE AND MY SOUL IS HAPPY. NOW HOW ARE YOU GOING TO RIP MY HEART OUT, BECAUSE I HAVE A FEELING IT'S COMING!

I'm still loving their little conversations and how well they work together!

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Oh, yup, there goes my heart. You did it.

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In reality, when you lost your Mom, you also lost your Dad.

This line really packed a punch, tbh

God, the pain in those last two paragraphs were so prominent and just, well, painful. The fact that Eli feels he lost his father as well just... ahhh, ouch! I can't even imagine being in a position where one parent dies and the other is still there but also gone in a way that you can't reach them but you can see them.

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Uh oh, I feel like Jasper definitely crossed a line, but (and I know I keep saying it) I still really love the little quips and lines between the two. I'm glad Eli decided not to ask why Jasper kept coming.

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He put his hands in his pockets and this was the first time he didn’t offer you a cigarette.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Is it because of what Eli was saying, or was it the fact that Eli wanted to ask what brought Jasper to the cemetery???

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And it had been, in that fifteen-year-old kind of way. In your naivety that came with being a teenager, you loved Declan. At the time, you didn’t really care that people told you that fifteen year old kids don’t know what love is. You knew that this feeling in your chest was akin to it, at the very least; where Love started, like a seed. This was your first love, you knew it with every fiber of your being. You never said it to him, though.

THIS! I want to say so much more, but I feel like it would just be rambling and I don't want to do that, so just.. THIS.

I feel so bad for Eli after what happened with Declan. To think that he loved him and then catching him in the act of cheating - especially after his mom's death - must have hit him like a ton of bricks. But, I like the sweater bit you included.

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OKAY, GOOD! They're still talking and even going on walks together. Good. I was worried there would be some big blowout or something, but I'm happy that's not the case (unless you're building up to it, oh god).

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Maybe you had a deep-seeded fear of cars, but nothing could really touch the fear in your heart when you felt yourself being poked at. You had made that mistake before and your Mom always told you to learn from your mistakes.

I can relate to this so hard.

I LOVE THAT JASPER JUST STARTED TELLING ELI ABOUT HIMSELF OUT OF THE BLUE! I'm not sure why, but I love it when characters do that to a reluctant party. imo, it really helps break the ice, and I'm hoping that's how it is between he and Eli.

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“Me too.”

OKAY, BUT SAME AGAIN!

I like that Eli is starting to slowly open up, too.

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Yes, keep talking Eli! Keep opening up!!

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“You didn’t escape being a loser by going to college.”

I'm still loving his sense of humor

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You actually kinda smiled. “I bet.”

I'M YELLING!

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I love that you added in the fact that there were pictures from high school to the week before she died. It really showed the love Eli's parents had for one another, and it makes sense that his dad is so deep in his slump/depression. I do hope he ends up starting to become better - for himself and Eli as well.

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Whenever you did this, you could see and understand why your Dad didn’t like to look at you. You looked too much like her.

OWWW

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I'm loving their middle names, and the fact that Eli hasn't heard his spoken aloud in four years - until Jasper did, just ahhhhhhhhhh.

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He laughed, light and soft, and you accepted that you liked it.

And this is where everything else began.

I'M SO READY, OKAY?

Chapter One

Just from the first paragraph you've broken my heart. How dare. I can't imagine going to summer school for the day and coming home/being called out and being told that my mother had been in a serious accident. The line below the first paragraph was so fitting for something like this, especially with the line before it.

And the weight it has on Eli, oh God. Losing all of his friends and his boyfriend because of his mother's death must have added onto everything he was feeling. I'm so angry at Declan and Eli's father, as much as I understand why the latter was fading out.

OH GOD, AND THE LAST LITTLE LINE! YUP, I'M ACHING AT THIS POINT.

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Eli's fear of cars definitely makes sense. I would too if something like that happened. It also makes sense that the rest of his life stopped too because of his mother's death. And the fact that he doesn't want to leave his dad kills me, too.

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You had met her at the end of junior year because she was overly friendly and you were painfully lonely.

Me in high school, I swear. But it also carries much more weight, as he goes from basically pushing away his friends to clinging onto whomever he can get to.

AHHH, AND THEN HE LOSES LIV TOO! I mean, life probably got in the way or she lost friends or something, but ouuuuuuch. I feel so bad for Eli.

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“That’s strange considering they’re full of people,” you mumbled over the top of your knuckles, fist against your chin and partially pressed against your mouth.

Okay, but I laughed really hard at this.

I love how Eli and Jasper automatically click. It's like, they're both sarcastic and kind of sassy and I really love that i ship them already.

Okay, so a straight up YAS for starting your playlist with some Exile Verify, I adore that song so much and with a song like that being on the playlist for this story I know it’s going to be deep, dark, and downright amazing.

I love the summary/introduction. The way of comparing behavioural traits to genetic ones is a beautiful way of explaining why your character is the way he is, especially since just a few lines earlier you already hit us with the bombshell of his mother’s death.

I’m grateful for the way you use “Irrational” and “Unreasonable”, because it’s a very realistic CBT way of dealing with trauma. It’s a technique I was even taught. The identifying of things you feel or think and being able to understand how you can unknowingly overreact. I know it’s a weird thing to be grateful of, but a lot of writers sometimes misunderstand coping techniques and methods to deal with mental illness so you showing a proper, medically assured way of dealing is fantastic to me.

The building of Eli and Jasper’s friendship is so good. It’s brutally honest and that makes it feel so real. I especially loved the sassiness of Eli with “Do you make all of your friends in cemeteries?”. It’s so good because it shows that Eli is admitting he has a friend in Jasper, despite his obvious resentment towards interaction and how often he’s been hurt by other people before. He’s learning to trust and it makes me feel like a proud parent to see him grow. You can see it as well when Jasper says, “Don’t shit talk me to your Mom, then.”, because it is that unspoken line between the two but it’s changed from Eli being annoyed by Jasper’s presence when he’s talking to letting him show understanding in a way. Jasper knows exactly what Eli is going through, and he’s showing Eli that by addressing his dead mom in a light-hearted, but caring way too. (that awkward moment when you address what I’m talking about later on in the same chapter, but you’re writing the comment as you read and can’t be bothered to go back and delete it)

I adore the banter there is between the two of them whilst the friendship is building. The sassy one-liners are a perfect way to test the safety lines, and I adore it. Stuff like “You didn’t escape being a loser by going to college.”, and the “Unless you can major in Wallowing” quip too. It’s fantastically human and it gives even a sad bastard like me a soppy smile.

Overall, just an incredible story. I loved your emotive style of writing. It’s so strong with the description of emotions without putting on words like “sad” or “upset” in order to explain them. You treat your audience as intelligent readers and let them fill in those gaps with real life comparisons to what your characters were feeling, so it creates so much more powerful feelings in the reader.

Like god damn, this is brilliant. Thank you so much for the self-promo! I’m glad you were brave enough to point out you had another story that the one shot was linked to, because I am a changed woman after reading this. Fantastic, incredible, amazing, wonderful, brilliant. I’m running out of words, but basically, I want to say that I loved this story and I’m now a fan of yours… if it’s possible for mibba authors to have fans.

I love it. Expect comments on all your other stories soon because I’m about to start avidly reading them in the next few days.

Alright so I want to preface this by saying that I've been putting off commenting on this because I know you're going to destroy me. Hence why I’ve made a word document saving my comment because this shit is gon be long and if this gets lost I will curse all the gods. Also, I’ve titled said doco ‘like this you keep Alex barely alive’ and I hope to god you do not kill me softly with your words bc you know I’m going to rage about this forever. Okay. LET’S GO.


OH MAN THIS IS THE DAY I DIDN’T REALISE THIS WAS THE DAY UNTIL AFTER THE FIRST PARAGRAPH BUT I FELT MY HEART SINK ALONG WITH ELI AND MR. ELI DAMN SON DAMN
Oh man, the way you describe Eli’s offness is just unreal. I’m legitimately in shock (not sure why I’m shocked because you’re a fuckin ace writer) at how well you’ve portrayed the fact that even though he’s sad over his mum, it’s not just sadness – there’s something else and ugh I love it.

There was so much softness in it all that you wanted to laugh over how sharp it felt in your core – that line just ugh. BRO. UGH.

ELI
ELI MY BABY MY HEART CALLS FOR YOU
IT’S OK BABY YOU’LL BE OK I’M P SURE SINCE FAE (fae -_-) SPOILED FOR ME WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE SO BEST BELIEVE U GON GET SOMETHING GOOD BABE
ELI U FKN NUMPTY NOTHING IS WRONG WITH U OK EVERYTHING JUST HURTS BUT NOTHING IS WRONG!!! I WANT TO HUG ELI SO BAD GODDAMN I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE GRATEFUL THAT ELI IS JUST A FICTIONAL CHARACTER B/C IF HE WAS REAL HE’D JUST BE HUGGED ALL THE TIME BY ME I’D BE A HUG DESTROYER DESTROYING HIM WITH HUGS



drunk off your own breakdown I SEE SOME (PROBABLY UNINTENTIONAL) FORESHADOWING HERE

OH
OH ELI YES TALK TO YOUR DAD I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR FOUR YEARS / FOUR CHAPTERS (same shit really)
FUCKING HELL MR ELI CANNOT YOU SEE THAT ELI JUST NEEDS HIS DAD TO FUCKIN COMFORT HIM AND TELL HIM THAT EVERYTHING’S ALRIGHT
ARE YOU THAT WRAPPED UP IN YOUR OWN FUCKIN SELFISH GRIEF THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN BE THERE FOR YOUR SON

U SELFISH SOB BE THERE FOR ELI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How you manage to capture these emotions in me I cannot. MY HEART FEELS HOLLOW. I FEEL AS THOUGH I’M ABOUT TO CRY. MY HEART HURTS, FAE. MY HEART FUCKIN hurts. I AM IN PAIN. I MIGHT BE HAVING A STROKE AND HONESTLY I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED BECAUSE YOU HAVE HURT ME. FUCK YOU MAN I HAVEN’T FELT THIS MUCH PAIN SINCE I was in a relationship like lowkey this is kind of true what the fuck is wrong w you (I mean you’re great for making me this fuckin attached to a character but also no this is why I don’t read your shit in case something like THIS HAPPENS)



I’m struggling to continue to read this because of aforementioned physical fucking pain but here we are.

I don’t have much to say about this part b/c pain (I will never let this go, no matter how much Frozen tells me to otherwise) but I will say that you write wonderfully and with every word my heart breaks a little bit more and oh man, Eli apologising to his mum after all that is just so sweet and I imagine that his mum is giving him a big ass hug right now like ‘BB ELI IT’S OK YOU WILL BE OK I PROMISE U I MEAN HELLO THIS IS WHY I SENT JASPER TO YOU’

ALSO
SHUT THE FUCK UP ELI U HAVE SOMEONE, YOU GOT JASPER!!!!!!!!


Jasper

I just
He comes to eli in the right moments (how CONVENIENT, FAE) and is just THERE for eli when he needs. And I like how eli expected jasper to push but jasper is just letting him BE AND JUST BEING THERE FOR HIM. JASPER IS A GOOD PAL EVEN THO HE’S CLEARLY IN LOVE WITH THE DUDE

BRUH
OF COURSE THE COFFEE TASTES DIFFERENT
B/C JASPER GAVE IT TO YOU FUCKING BAE BAE/10 IS JASPER RIVERA EVERYBODY



Combining both because pure laziness. ALSO HOLLA @ JASPER FOR GOING FOR ICECREAM

IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE’S FOOD I’m fucking dead but also partially me HAHAHA
Also dead at jasper taking two hours to eat, he’s also me but I think someone’s tryna spend as much time with eli as much as they can AYYYY PAPI I SEE WHAT YOU’RE TRYNA DO HOMIE

Sitting there with Jasper again, you couldn’t stop thinking about how you had unraveled in front of him, into the roaring sea and into the endless universe that would never give you the apology you wanted yes mami yes yes yes I love this

Wait
Wait a diddly darn second
Who is ana
And why was my first thought ‘JASPER IS BISEXUAL IS HE CHEATING ON ELI WITH ANA NO NO NO NO NO NO
MY HEART FAE FUCKIN NO’

I wasn’t expecting this to break my heart but WOOSH THERE YOU GO AGAIN, STRUTTING IN AND STABBING ME IN THE HEART IT’S COOL IT’S FINE I’M FINE

HIS SISTER DIED
HIS SISTER
His sister.
Oh jasper
Jasper jasper jasper

Aw he paints his nails, I thought of troye and aw (can’t believe it took me this long to mention troye)
Oh man, this part made me happy (more so the end bit) because Eli and Jasper had a small moment of physical connection and Eli finally texted Jasper first (I think unless I’m wrong in which my bad) but the fact that he texted anyways just because he wanted to be there for jasper I mean fucking aw man that’s so cute and PANCAKES I’M SO HAPPY

and you smiled because it felt okay for once I’m so happy this line has made me so happy



HEY DAD
WAIT ELI HAS A BLOG
I WANT TO READ THIS WHERE IS IT
ARE MY EYES DECEIVING ME IS MR. ELI TALKING TO ELI ABOUT SOMETHING THAT’S NOT SAD????

WHAT??????? EVEN IT’S JUST about picture frames I mean aw man fucking AW
Oh my god
Fae

CHRISTA

His dad is going to try. THIS IS THE CLOSURE I NEEDED YOU KNOW I’M ACTUALLY OKAY IF THIS WAS THE ENDING BECAUSE HIS DAD IS GOING TO FUCKING TRY AND ELI GOT THROUGH TO HIM AND THIS IS JUST. THIS IS JUST.

”I believe you.” YOU AND ME BOTH, KID



MISERABLE BIRTHDAY THEN
I’M DEAD
WHY AM I SMILING AT THAT, FAE THAT WAS A HORRIBLE JOKE AND I’M GRINNING LIKE I JUST GOT LAID OR SMTH

Oh my god
He’s trying
His dad!! Is actually trying and I mean yes it’s not going to be okay straight away but he’s fucking trying and that’s all you can hope for!!!!! Side note damn now I’m cravin some choc cupcakes damn u

“OUR SPOT AT THE PARK” THEY HAVE A SPOT I MEAN I KNOW THEY DO BUT THE FACT THAT JASPER ACKNOWLEDGED IT I CANNOT

“OKAY DAD” OK DAD wow is this some kinky daddy talk bc mami likey

You wanted to ask him if it he felt the same way or if it always felt this way, like something was begging to come out, but all the words you had were stuck. Something shifted in the air. IT’S COMING THIS MOMENT IS COMING I AM SO EXCITED OH MY GOD

YEAH JASPER MAKES U ANXIOUS, ELI
I’M FUCKIN ANXIOUS JUST READING THIS BC I WANT IT TO HAPPEN ALREADY!!!

JASPER HONEY PLEASE THIS IS MORE than OKAY MORE! THAN! OKAY!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OH MY GOD
OH MY FUCKING FLIPPING FLAMINGO GOD
THIS IS ME RIGHT NOW: :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

other than a tender, colorful wildness in your chest and you knew it wasn’t peach lemonade anymore. this line I just also nice tie in with the chapter title me likey



YOU KINKY BASTARDS
3AM IN THE MORNING HUH
AND U GOT BUTTERFLIES
I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED HERE AND DAYUMN JELI U GET IT ON YOUR BIRTHDAY SON



I am also baffled that eli can eat his pancakes naked
Considering he got NAKED LAST NIGHT SON
Omg my heart I can’t take this, the fucking cute shit you feel when you like someone and just ugh UGH
You thought maybe the whole restaurant could feel it. I KNOW I DO BABY

HOW WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY
IT WAS FUCKIN GREAT THANKS FOR ASKING
SINCE I GOT LAID

This part of the story is my fucking favourite even though other bits traumatised me immensely, because of how beautiful you’re tying this altogether and how you’ve managed to reiterate that this isn’t a fuckin love story and jasper ain’t tryna fix eli but it does help and I think all eli really needed was a friend and jasper has been able to do that for him and ugh can you believe I’m more happy about mr eli and eli becoming dad and son again than jeli because damn son.

“BUT YOU LIKE ME” yes this is accurate

Oh, fae. That ending. That fucking ending. That fucking hopeful and happy feeling in my chest that everything is going to be okay BECAUSE ELI FUCKING BELIEVES THAT THINGS WILL BE OKAY AND YES BABY THEY WILL BE.
AND FINE OKAY FINE THIS ENDING MAKES UP FOR THE SADNESS OKAY MY HEART FEELS BETTER I FEEL BETTER AS A WHOLE AND THANK YOU FOR GRACING MIBBA AND ME FOR THIS FINE ASS STORY bless u (and never ask me to comment on any of your sad shit again b/c I’ll fkn cut u if u do) xoxoxoxox

Great update! Keep up the good work

edit: do u really think i'd leave u hangin like that bc if so U GOT ANOTHER THING COMIN SISTA

This was honestly one of the best stories I have read. I honestly hope to read more of Jasper and Eli because I am honestly just so obsessed with them two. I'm really curious to see what you have in store for them. and this is the only exception for reading long chapters. if you do a sequel, please let me know.

First of all, can I just mention the layout because THE LAYOUT teach me. There’s just something about the second person narrative used that makes this so much more personal and I can just feel all the helplessness, the loneliness, the grief, the anger and the later on the hope Jasper brings (even though I’m all achy for him too.) That scene where Jasper shows up at Eli’s house in the rain just got me, especially: His dark t-shirt was stuck to him like another layer of skin and with the gray of everything else, he looked washed out of every color he had left. Like just take my heart now I no longer require it. I just adore above all how they interact, the little snarky things they say to each other. It’s so believable. Also the little bits of humour thrown in just makes it. I mean major in Wallowing lmao sign me up. So in conclusion I'm not good at commenting but this is wonderful and I love it.

I like really suck at this whole commenting thing (like srsly its dumb but I just don't comment not things I read its like rare for me cause I can't like focus my thoughts into decent enough comments) and tbh I read these two chapters about a week ago and I was like ooh, I have so much to say but every time I sat to write my response to this shit just wouldn't form right. And now it sounds like I'm leading up to some epic comment! I'm not cause really I can't put my thoughts together like that. But there was one thing I really wanted to point out and its the scene where you describe him being fourteen and meeting Declan and how Declan was like "Was I wrong about you?" and just that whole scene was so real and well done. Like it wasn't about the fact they were both boys but about what they were feeling which was so refreshing to read in a story that's not heterosexual where its not focusing on gender but just feelings. Idk if that made any sense. But yeah I just had to say something about that.

Layout + Summary
This layout is goooorgeous. It's so simple but so freakin' beautiful. I love the quote at the top. As for the summary, I think it's a perfect description. It really drew me in.

Content
Oh man, my heart was breakingfor Eli. First his mom, then Declan, and then he stops talking to his best friend? My God.

"Six months after your Mom died, six months of clinging to another person’s heartbeat, you caught Declan with his hands in some other boys’ hair, white knuckles digging into the knots like he would have died without it. What amazed you the most wasn’t that Declan was capable of doing this to you, but that despite it all, your entire chest tightened with the agonizing sharpness of heartbreak; you didn’t even think you had anything left to break."

Wow. Just wow. This entire paragraph is just flawless. It's so painfully beautiful. Somehow you arranged these words in such a perfect way. Amazing.

I also appreciated that their breakup was so raw and real. No running back to each other, no forgiveness.

I love the repetition of time that you used, and I can tell you put so much thought into each word you chose.

I adore the budding relationship between Jasper and Eli. I can't wait to see how much more happens between them. I love when they both begin to open up and Eli gives in. It seems like Jasper could be really good for Eli.

This was awesome. I can't wait to read more. Great job!

hoooooomygod, read the first chapter and I'm entranced. I have a real unbecoming attraction to all things that threaten to make me cry (in writing form anyways). Love this so far, and can't wait to see what happens to Eli - I want him to stop choking on his ghosts :(

[ignore this spastic repeat]

HELLO I AM IN LOVE