Wilted Flowers - Comments

WOWZAH! I liked the way the flowers seemed to pull her to the darkness...and the irony of how beautiful they were.

Also, it was interesting to see that for her the flowers wilted instantly, but he saw nothing wrong.

Let the flowers fade away Rae, you're going to blossom enough!

Loved the quote in the long summary. (Though I would suggest crediting the author.)

I thought this story was interesting. I reminded me a bit of Alice in Wonderland - with the talking flowers/garden that weren't also friendly. I liked the 'voice' you created for the flowers/garden (Rae's negative thoughts). I thought it was a nice touch that you gave it/them a distinct speech pattern. That definitely added a little extra something to the story.

Until you actually mentioned Rae's mental illness/disability, I actually wasn't sure if Rae's garden was real (as in, if this was more of a fantasy story) or just a figment of her imagination (or, I guess, a symptom). But that also added a little something extra to the story.

As I read on, I did question how...accurate (I don't know if I even want to say "accurate", maybe 'realistic' is a better word?) Anyway, I did question how well this depiction of schizophrenia matched up with what schizophrenia is like in the real world. In some part, it felt really fantastical and I think that pulled me out the story a bit.

Aside from that though, I loved your descriptions. I think you definitely have a really nice way with words and creating a mood.

Sassenach:

I used a horrendously wrong word. I think that the picture at the top, instead of disappearing when I scroll, should stay still.

Oh! I get you now. I didn't know it moved, I suppose I'll go and see if I can make it stay. Thank you for much for what you said about my story, it means a lot

I used a horrendously wrong word. I think that the picture at the top, instead of disappearing when I scroll, should stay still.

Sassenach:

Sorry, sorry! The only thing I would change would be the layout. The picture at the top needs to be stationary. Other than that it's a great layout and fits the story well.

hmm, stationary? Do you mind explaining what that means exactly? I'm confused.

Sorry, sorry! The only thing I would change would be the layout. The picture at the top needs to be stationary. Other than that it's a great layout and fits the story well.

"...my marvelous garden lived off of my misery..." My favorite quote of the entire chapter. I can relate to this ridiculously and I love it. This is unlike anything I had read before. It took a very interesting turn, schizophrenia is not something I'm very familiar with but it's interesting to be reading about. The fact that she cares very much about how Tony feels, rejection or not, is so endearing. "“I guess you could say that this town has some cheap seeds.” "Ung, so sweet! The way this story ended, how her voices die out and she finally feels able to heal, and feeling this new sense of independence is so refreshing. This was beautifully written, and a joy to read. I love how the connection to a garden, and her mind and her voices. Wonderful story, wonderful.