The beginning of chapter one was interesting. You had an excellent hook that invited us readers. I liked that you first introduced us with a problem. Nicely done. I felt like the transition from the first chapter to the second was slightly confusing for me. It took me a while to catch on to what was happening. Though, I was excited to read on.
I liked that you could really sense their personalities through their tones and words. Although I thought some parts of the conversation with the doctor seemed a bit forced, I did like how it polished up her personality even more. It was witty, and I found that interesting. Throughout the following chapters, I began to connect ideas and wow. That ending was a shocker to me.
The entire entry was a wild ride. I liked how you well you developed your characters. Like I said, the only thing I’d say to work on is to reread your scenes as some sentences felt a bit forced. Overall, I enjoyed this a lot. Great entry!!
I liked that you could really sense their personalities through their tones and words. Although I thought some parts of the conversation with the doctor seemed a bit forced, I did like how it polished up her personality even more. It was witty, and I found that interesting. Throughout the following chapters, I began to connect ideas and wow. That ending was a shocker to me.
The entire entry was a wild ride. I liked how you well you developed your characters. Like I said, the only thing I’d say to work on is to reread your scenes as some sentences felt a bit forced. Overall, I enjoyed this a lot. Great entry!!