Atrial Interlude - Comments

As a biology student, when people integrate proper physiological terms into their writing it just sends me on a happy nerd spree. This was a creative tie between science and art, and I loved the way you made a single moment seem so everlastingly beautiful

I'm absolutely in love with this! The way they start feeling whole again and living, despite being left. It's a slow process and I think you captured that really well. The fact that you showed said process through their heart beating, life running through their veins, breathing, and everything else. It was beautiful to read.

I feel like I've said this on all of your work, but I truly do love the imagery you capture in all of your work - especially this one!

Hellooo I'm here to judge for the milk and honey contest!

liz. LIZ. BRO. This is wonderful. I really, really admire the way you interpreted the poem in the way that you've written it - I liked that it wasn't a straight plot driven story, that you described the movements of the heart but done so in such a beautifully poetic way and ugh. The description of the narrator being able to be themselves again through the depiction of the physical movements was a really smart way to make the poem your own. When you picked this I was super interested to see how you'd interpret it but I love that this was the direction you took. I have no criticism, just mad love for this.

Thank you for entering

Your description blows me away every time I read anything by you, seriously. You've got this magnificent way with words that just paints the most vivid picture throughout, and it's a real joy to read. It's almost like a sensory experience, reading through. I have to agree with Sam below as well -- the structure is amazing. You've got this repetition that kind of lulls at the beginning of each paragraph, and it just makes everything so effortless. Even with the description of something as simple as breathing, you're almost creating a symphony and I'm so envious, I really am. The description is both harsh and soft at the same time and I don't even know how that's possible. The way that you describe the joints being cushioned, and the idea of this gentle rhythm. Kind of definitely more than a little in love with this, not going to lie.

YESSSS
I'm in love with the first chapter. Everything about it was beautiful and perfect. The last paragraph as a whole just. Blows my mind. It's perfectly structured that it made me gasp for a second. I am in love.