Summer Nights - Comments

I'm not very good at writing a full comment on drabbles, but holy fuck. Lizz! This is amazing, and the metaphors, SO MANY AND I LIKE IT A WHOLE LOT. I like the way you described the girl and the guy and the narrator. The words just flowed beautifully, and I adore that so much.

Like????She was the scent of peaches lightly scattered across her neck and short poems written on wrinkled pieces of paper.smh. This was just too simple, too beautiful, and just too good.

Just the first paragraph alone was enough to really engulf me into this. I loved how you described her, comparing her to bright sun on freshly mowed grass, her freckles, flowers in her hair. The scent of peaches, toothpaste, and coffee. It was all so beautiful and I could envision her in my mind.

And the second paragraph was the same. You can tell someone is saying that with love and adoration, and that's something that I really enjoy about this. You can feel the love in the descriptions and imagery.

And, ahhh, the last paragraph was probably my favorite. The way it all came together was so lovely. This was such a beautiful piece and you captured so much love and imagery in something so short.

The descriptive of this story is just damn gorgeous. I love the powerful way you add emotion to how you'd describe someone by focusing, not on their physical description as in hair, eyes, or skin, instead you focus on the things people in love notice. You notice the way they smell, the way they act, behave, etc and you've displayed that so perfectly in this short story.

The tied in metaphors of different aspects of summer nights was beautiful and I love that. It's a flawless metaphor that works so well.

Stunning work!

This is beautiful.

I just wanted you to know that no one gave you the right to do this, but you did it anyway and my heart just casually hurts because it was so beautiful, no big deal. #JustLizzThings

For one, I love, love, love the layout so much. I love the simplicity and the colors, and I love how much it ended up fitting with the content. It was adorable but it was beautiful, and it just fit. It added to the voice of the story, soft and gentle, and it was just so good. I love your layouts so much ok.

And then the content. Oh my god, that content. The first paragraph makes me feel so warm because you wrote it so beautifully and effortlessly and used summer as a describing metaphor that I got that nostalgia kind of feeling that you get in summer, when you're in love and feel like going anywhere and everywhere, and smell mowed grass and honeysuckle and feel the sun and everything is just warm, and you portrayed those soft vibes so beautifully that it was nearly overwhelming. You put all of these feelings and metaphors into a person that for a moment, I was in love with her too. And then the roughness of the second paragraph, oh man. It felt reckless and free, like you could get in the car and go anywhere at three in the morning with the windows down and with that careless feeling, and again you put that feeling into a person—all of those wild feelings were a person and I loved him too.

Then you combined them both to tie it all together, like the narrator is all of these things, and both relationships with Her and Him do nothing but complement the narrator, and I loved it so much.

I honestly read this drabble a couple of times so I could catch every line, experience every feeling in my heart because you like to punch me in the feels, and I love it so much. So, so much. This entire drabble was full of so many emotions and beautiful metaphors and so much love. The way you portrayed the polyamorous relationships was so good and so gorgeous and you did it so well. You took this and you wrote it full of love; you gave polyamory the kind of beauty it needed and I loved every single word of this drabble. You are such a fantastic writer ok.

i just want to be you, like vic said. bye

Layout / Summary

Okay so the layout is adorable. I love how simple it is, but how beautiful it makes the page feel. the colours work together effortlessly, and I just adore it so much okay teach me ur ways friend. The singular sentence summary works a treat -- it gives an idea of what we're reading about, and it also paints such a beautiful metaphor.

Content

Okay so I say this every time but your description o.h. m.a.n can I just be you yet? The extended metaphors you've got going on here are stunning. You paint such an effortless picture with your words, and it's absolutely breathtaking to read through. There's this mix between the physical attributes of summer and dusk night in the environment mixed with all of these ideas of the qualities of a person that just gel so well together and give the reader such an insight into the characters and their relationship with one another. There are the three separate paragraphs, but then they all have this recurring theme of the parts of a summer's day, and I absolutely adore it. It ties together so perfectly and just adds that little bit more. It's a nice symbol of a relationship, I think -- all separate entities, but have this thing that keeps them all together and working like the separate cogs of a machine.

Concrit

None, boom.

Overall

This was absolutely beautiful, really. I'm still incredibly jealous of your drabble-writing talents and I probably always will be. I loved this.