A Heart That Bleeds Sadness - Comments

@ attackOFwaffle
We are glad to be of service! We hope to read your next tale.

Story writing always gets better with time. ;)

Farewell,

The Knights

@ discoveringclouds
Thanks for commenting, it means a lot.

I'll start with the hatchet part. Is it not normal for people to have hatchets by their beds? I have one, not for self defense, but it does fit there. Also, his hands were stained with blood, after crying over his love.

He was only brought in for questioning because of how suspicious he looked even though there was no blood on the hatchet, and the cops were probably told they heard gun shots. Nobody said they were good at their jobs.

I'm aware of the holes in my story. I was writing a story for a friend and it was getting really late, because of this I was very hesitant in posting it. I also wanted the reader to use their imagination to fill in the holes. Kind of like when a story or a movie ends with a cliffhanger and it's up to you to theorize what you think will happen next. Something like that I guess.

Originally I wasn't even going to state whether the main character and the lover (I've forgotten her name) were male or female. That part happened by accident...

Your feedback has really helped me though, and I'll try harder in my next story. Thank you so much!

I wish the King and the Knights the best! Farewell.

Dear attackofWaffle,

We are here today to examine your story. The King was intrigued by the title, us Knights were more intrigued in your name. Do you mind visiting us some time? As we do enjoy waffles greatly and are skilled fighters so we could handle them pretty well if they attack.

The king sends his regards to the bleeding heart and hopes the sadness turns to maple syrup to compliment the angry sweet breaded waffles that must surround you at all times.

Your story displays a deep childhood of longing for adventure, and we hope you all the best. Adventure is what knights long for all their lives and the King sends us on missions constantly! Travelling matures the soul and the personality of the adventurer.

We did at times wish for more spacing in your story to allow us to see the breaks in ideas. And we also wished for more consistency in our main character's relationship with his parents.

Where did they think he went at just 19? How did he afford a house without them, did he start his career early?

Also your crime scene had a few holes as well. Why did he have a hatchet next to his bed? What country requires people to go to such lengths? Why would the police put him in jail without question when the gunshot wound and gun clearly had nothing to do with him and the hatchet and his hands were unmarked.

The king uses hatchets from time to time as well. Usually to behead chocolate bars.

We wish you a heartfelt adieu.

Yours happily,

The Knights of Commenting