Lovely Disaster - Comments

Looking forward to more of this story XD

Getting drunk then not remembering what happened definitely spells trouble with a capital T. LOL. I wonder how the entire band will react to her having cheated on Brian?

can't wait for the rest!

Loved it.

Summary:
Okay, so I really like what you did with the summary. It honestly brought me into the story and made me excited. I automatically wanted to know what was going to happen, which is definitely a good thing.

Chapter One:
I really like how you started the story. There's obviously some past lover she's trying to get away from, and I'm definitely wondering why. I have a feeling he'll be causing a lot of trouble in the future.

I'm definitely wondering how the meeting is going to go with Zacky.

The one thing I want to nitpick is the fact that your speech tags are off.

Quote

“Zacky, are you coming or not?” His friend shouted. Tearing his gaze from the car, he walked up to catch up to his friends.

"Zacky, are you coming or not?" his friend shouted.

Other than the speech tags, I thought this was a really good intro chapter.

Chapter Two:
I wonder how awkward that meeting was for Gena. If it was, she definitely didn't let it get to her.

Quote

“Probably not, but I don’t take no for an answer.”

Well, let's hope Gena ends up liking him!

Once again, your speech tags were off (but I mentioned that for the previous chapter, so I'm not going to delve too much into that).

Quote

Ever since meeting the girl a few days a girl

I think you meant Ever since meeting the girl a few days ago

Chapter Three:
Hot damn! She's a lawyer? No wonder she was able to afford a place in a rich neighborhood.

Hmm, I'm definitely curious to know why Gena said she has a boyfriend?? Maybe she doesn't want to get involved with someone else?

I'm starting to like Brian. He seems like the brains of the two, lol.

Chapter Four:
Aha! I figured Gena didn't have a boyfriend!

Marissa seems like a biiiiiitch. Ugh, only using Zacky for his money? That's low as fuck. I'm definitely feeling like Zacky is going to regret giving her a chance.

Chapter Five:
Oh no, Marissa, don't be an asshole to Gena. She didn't do anything (I don't think).

Woah, though, when did Gena and Jimmy get together? Or is he just a friend???

OH, MARISSA ACTED LIKE THAT, BUT SHE'S CHEATING ON ZACKY ANYWAY??? This bitch.

I'm definitely wondering what's going on with Marissa.

Chapter Six:
Brian definitely seems sweet. Wanting to keep his best friend from getting hurt by Marissa and everything. I wonder if he'll actually find out what's going on.

I'm surprised Gena actually kept her distance from Zacky, seeing as they were only friends. It's kinda sad that Marissa was able to control Gena like that.

Marissa is like that high school girl that tries to start drama everywhere, and when it doesn't work she gets super desperate. I'm worried about what's going to happen, but also super excited to see what you do with this!

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While the beginning was kind of slow, I do like the buildup. Marissa is definitely unlikable, and I don't know how I feel about Matt. This kept me intrigued.

The only things I need to nitpick are:

-You speech tags, which I mentioned something about above
-Sometimes you mention something and don't explain it later on (ie Gena with Jimmy). That can get confusing to some readers

Other than those things, I really did enjoy this!

I really loved it, can't wait for more

I really loved the update baby!

I literally just commented but then I read this so now I'm back. My class is starting though so I might be back again. Lol. At first I was thrown by how quick this was, but I read your blog about how the first three chapters are setting up the story, so I really liked it. I loved how it jumped to "I spent the night with her last night." That was great.

One thing I noticed is that your speech tags are off. You used periods and "he said." When you have a speech tag, you need to use a comma in the quote.

I really can't wait to see where this is going!!

I literally just commented but then I read this so now I'm back. My class is starting though so I might be back again. Lol. At first I was thrown by how quick this was, but I read your blog about how the first three chapters are setting up the story, so I really liked it. I loved how it jumped to "I spent the night with her last night." That was great.

One thing I noticed is that your speech tags are off. You used periods and "he said." When you have a speech tag, you need to use a comma in the quote.

I really can't wait to see where this is going!!

Hey, just wanted to let you know that this is labelled as an original fiction! I haven't started reading it yet, but I saw that it's Zacky V and Gena, so you might want to change that. :)

Fuck Marissa, he should just make a real move on Gena already!

I am loving this more and more! So he's going out with another girl, and all. Hmmm. I can't wait to see more.

Girl, you so know the way to my heart

So can't wait for more of this Brit!

I loved that update. Gena isn't out of his league he'll get her. I loved this one I can't wait for a next update.

Love this, you have some awesome ideas and I love reading new stuff you come out with <3