May 13th, 2017 at 10:55am
Your story is a top 1% best first person narrative I have ever read. A writer either does it well or flubs it with too many, I's, me's and my's. There is sense of balance here.
The opening is so simple yet powerful, "Here they come." Three words and it has the reader delving into your prose to find out who's coming and why.
The next two paragraphs put the reader into the story setting. At first when I read the story without reading past the first two paragraphs, the first thought in my mind was, great another author who info-dumps, but no. In context of the overall story it brilliantly puts the reader into the story setting.
Unlike most 1st narratives I read, in your story, I feel like I am apart of what is taking place. I am experiencing the adventure in the here and now. Your story would be a great example for those who struggle to get 1st person narrative right.
After 5 months having not further developed your story, I hope your inspiration returns to continue.
Awesome writing skills and finesse.
Thank you so much for your kind comment