February 19th, 2017 at 08:49pm
This is pretty interesting. It poses a lot of questions, especially about her home life and family. You did a good job of introducing the character, I especially enjoy the end of it.
Your descriptions are done quite well too. It gives a clear picture but still leaves a bit up to the imagination of the reader.
The title is also interesting as I feel like it has a deeper meaning.
I think I'm going to subscribe and I look forward to seeing where this goes.
This line made me giggle so much, because I was the bitchy goth girl at school and it was just this instant moment of connection that I had with the narrator. Additionally, I feel like I connect with her on the family part -- my house is always super-noisy, and the relief that the narrator feels to be able to eat in peace is one that I know all too well! It adds that extra little bit of realism to the mix when you can connect with a character in such a way.
As Blake says, the first chapter is written almost to perfection. You get this sense of who the narrator is through a simple routine, but you also leave a lot to the imagination to get the reader hooked in. Family life isn't mentioned as often in stories I read, so it's interesting to see that in here, and it gives a glimpse into the world of the narrator.
I'm interested to see where this goes. At the moment, I've got little clue of how this will pan out, but I'm sure it'll be super-interesting as time goes on! Stories that seem to revolve around the character development more than plot are some of my favourites, and this promises to be good.