March 31st, 2017 at 02:34am
Layout / Summary
I really like the layout colours! They all go together effortlessly and it's not too distracting from the story. The summary is short and sweet, and definitely inspires the reader to read on.
Content
I feel like the chapter almost shows this kind of downward spiral in Lex's life. Most stories normally ease their way into this sort of thing, but this definitely packs a punch in forcing us right into a low point in Lex's life. It's a really interesting way of writing, because it means that the reader isn't sure whether to feel sorry for Lex or to chastise her (much like Ms. Hampton!) and it creates this instant confusion with the character that definitely makes me want to continue reading.
The subtly of addiction throughout this is also really interesting. It discusses cigarettes and alcohol in length, but it also mentions little things: things like the soda cans (really nice way of incorporating those!) which most don't see as an addiction. It brings a lot into question and has this added fourth dimension that makes the reader wonder what is happening. It'll be interesting to see how Lex as a character develops throughout the remainder of this if you continue to write it!
Concrit
I didn't see much throughout!
Overall
I'm really sad this wasn't finished by the time the contest was over, but I'll definitely be coming back to read more if you continue to finish it. This is a provoking and intriguing piece that I'd love to see more of. Nice job!
thank you so much for the thoughtful comment! I'm sad I didn't finish it for the contest, but I'm thankful for the inspiration from you! I'm glad you seemed to enjoy this first chapter, and I'll definitely let you know if I continue it