Stardust - Comments

Wow. This is beautifully written. I really love the way you describe things and just the word choice and the phrases you use. This is just one of those pieces where I find myself rereading certain lines or passages and just being so impressed and just getting that one writer feel where you're just like "nice words, man!!"

Bloody hell the descriptive writing is fantastic. The visuals you create with your writing in this is amazing. I can feel the heavy emotions and it's just beautiful.

Hey, I'm here from the drabble for a drabble comment swap thread

Can I just start by saying I love how elegant yet simple your layout it – the photo is awesome and the color contrast is beautiful; the brown goes super great with the heading image.

The opening of this story sent shivers down my spine. Like, I’ve never read a story written in this way so the opening paragraph really has got me hook, line and sinker straight off the bat.

The second paragraph has my jaw dropping, for real. Just all these things your describing, things that are usually passed on like how the way freckles look against water – this is beautiful ad wonderful and I’m so in love with it. And the questioning of what we, the reader, are is also breath taking and makes my heart beat faster and faster; saying we’re only a mess of exploding light in the vast of darkness - my God, this is just wonderful.

My stomach just dropped at the last paragraph and, ugh, this story was just a train ride of emotion and I’m madly in love with it. Your style is so original and beautiful – it makes me desperate for more.

I think my favorite bit of this was the part about 'emotions ping-ponging off your ribs'. I loved that so much because I can relate so hard and just imagine that flood of emotion that feels like it overwhelms your whole being. Lovely, lovely piece. Thank you.

Wow. This was absolutely amazing. The way you described what the character was feeling by comparing it all to stars and the vast darkness was just... it was poetic, basically. I know someone below said the same thing, but that's truly what it makes me think of.

While I don't know the circumstances the character is in, I can relate to the feelings that they're going through. There's an understanding there that you hit right on the head, and it's amazing. I cannot put into words how much I absolutely loved this.

layout
simple and lovely! i really like how the banner's not a random picture but closely relates to the plot.

plot
in under 200 words, you managed to take a trivial moment into the most magical experience in the entire world. i love every single description of yours--the next one hits you harder than the first.

characters
i haven't come across many stories with this sort of narrative and after reading this, i sure do want to find out where those stories are hiding! it made be feel like the character, become the character. and that gives more power to your words.

overall
this was absolutely and purely lovely. you're such a gifted writer and your style is one of a kind!

Fuck me up gently, jesus. You can literally just have my existence. And heart. And soul. No big deal.

Everything about this is pure poetry. From word one to the final one, it’s fluid poetry with an entire spectrum of emotion in every word and between every line. Your attention to detail is actually devastating because your writing style is soft, if not underestimated because it’s poignant and demanding at the same time. There’s a subtle sharpness to the way you deliver your words. Half the time, you don’t realize it’s happening until the end. You go from here to there within a couple hundred words, and it’s like turning around and getting hit in the chest in a swinging motion—like having your breath knocked out of you. It’s effortless, flowing, and consistent with a world of emotion. It’s one of those moments where you have to sit there and think about everything.

I mean, you won’t mind if I sit here and just casually cry, yeah? Because you have no idea how weighted this entire concept was and the fact that you left it open to interpretation in second person fucked me up. You write it in this specific way, but you let the readers twist it around to their own ideas so it’s that much more raw and powerful.

And maybe that's what you are, a mess of exploding light in the vast darkness, blinding and burning anyone who dares come close to you. — I mean??

But as the emotions ping-pong off of your ribs and into your stomach you realize that the things you're so desperate for aren't going to come — fuck me

– because nothing is going to see you at your weakest when you refused to believe all along. — UP??

I’m highkey lowkey platonically in love with you and everything you do. I would sell my soul to you if you asked for it tbh. Like, if you told me that my soul was the only way you’d ever continue writing angsty drabbles that just casually gave me angina, I would be like “OH, NO PROBLEM I DON’T NEED IT HERE YOU GO”, sooo. There’s that. Do what you will with that.

Finally here to return the favor

I have a really hard time commenting on drabbles because there's something so amazing about fitting so much into so few words, and you did it. But let me start by saying this:

I love the layout. Good god, I wish you could make all my layouts.

The thing about this drabble is, although I'm not sure what your intent for it was, I highly relate to it. It feels like something I would have written in my diary, specifically when I was suffering from (trigger warning) bulimia. Sometimes all you can do is just sit on the floor and cry and let it out. Sometimes I still feel like this, specifically with my depression. And that's really how you know you're a talented writer - what means one thing to you could mean something completely different to somebody else. When you can leave things open to interpretation like this, you've really hit the mark.

The trails of salt water running down your flushed cheeks distort the flecks of freckles, turning them into something that resembles exploding stars. And maybe that's what you are, a mess of exploding light in the vast darkness, blinding and burning anyone who dares come close to you. - This is also something I can truly relate to. Back to my own problems, especially with depression, I often feel like I'm alone in my own dark world, and when I start bursting at the seams, people seem to shy away from that. Again, I'm not sure what your intention was, but this is something I feel to my core.

because nothing is going to see you at your weakest when refused to believe all along. - the wording here confused me a bit, because I feel like there's a word missing before refused. Maybe I just read it wrong, but I feel like adding a pronoun there would make the line make a little more sense.

But, like always, you've delivered such a wonderful piece here, and I'm truly enamored. Like I said, it almost feels like this could have come out of my diary, and I don't experience that a lot when I read others' works. But you've always had such a wonderful way with words, and sometimes it seems like it's so effortless for you.

If you don't win this contest, I might be a little very sad, because this really deserves it. Kudos to you for making me feel things.

Wow this is absolutely beautiful. ❤️❤️❤️

How does this not have any comments?! This drabble was simply powerful and beautiful. I relate to this on so many levels. It describes my manic episodes so perfectly. Such little words, but d*mn, what a powerful message you brought.
The trails of salt water running down your flushed cheeks distort the flecks of freckles, turning them into something that resembles exploding stars

^That was my favorite line. That whole paragraph following that sentence took my breath away. I can't say this enough, but it was so beautifully written.