Trouble - Comments

Wow! This is such a powerful drabble! I'm always amazed by authors who are able to convey so much with so few words! You've really done a great job of establishing the tone of this one an conveying strong emotions, all within a couple hundred words or so.

Hauntingly beautiful. I adore the way you've shown the inner conflict of someone who knows the situation is bad, but is almost addicted to the way their partner makes them feel. It's dark and twisted and utterly gorgeous.

This piece was so gorgeous and just beautifully written.

The feelings come across so clearly and make my spine shiver. Congratulations on writing such a fabulous piece.

This was absolutely beautiful. I love the way you captured the feelings of abuse without actually having to say that's what it is. You captured it with beautiful wording and that says a lot about your writing. You don't have to say outright what you mean.

Quote

The sinister smile that has spread across his face chills you to the bone.

This gave me chills too. Describing his sinister smile and the way the narrator can't even distinguish I love you and I hate you anymore shows just how long they have been in such an abusive relationship.

And, oh God, the last sentence. The only piece of dialogue speaks so much. This was honestly such a beautiful read. Thank you so much for entering this lovely piece!

I was crying by the time I reached the last word of this beautiful short piece that you've written. It's so real and so beautiful, and each word felt so carefully written. It was stunning. I love the last line, because it makes me feel as though maybe the narrator thought she was going to get away but then couldn't. You're such a talented writer, and I always love seeing your work!