Sink - Comments

I agree with the comments below me. This is a very delicate topic but you handled it with poise and care, and I really appreciated that. I think my favorite thing about this is how realistic it is, especially when you described her hitting the water as more like hitting pavement, it also proves that she fell at great distance despite the fact that you didn't actually say she did.

This was very beautiful. Well done!

Very delicated topic, but you wrote it out well. I felt it was really spot on how you described the girls fear. How you described the fear, the setting, and things like her lips turning blue fit perfectly in the story and were well written. This piece was bold and real. Well done.

This is a really well written one-shot. It’s emotive and you can feel the pain the girl is going through. I like how you almost link her to the sea that she’s jumping into, with how cold she is and how her lips are turning blue. When you talk about how she was calm as she died it makes it like she’s returning to the sea.

Although aspect of it are romantic, I feel you don’t endorse suicide. You keep it rooted in reality when you use phrases like “lifeless” and “flesh hit water”, as it keeps it brutal as suicide is.

This is a well written short story and I think you’ve done a good job of dealing with a delicate subject.

This is a really well written one-shot. It’s emotive and you can feel the pain the girl is going through. I like how you almost link her to the sea that she’s jumping into, with how cold she is and how her lips are turning blue. When you talk about how she was calm as she died it makes it like she’s returning to the sea.

Although aspect of it are romantic, I feel you don’t endorse suicide. You keep it rooted in reality when you use phrases like “lifeless” and “flesh hit water”, as it keeps it brutal as suicide is.

This is a well written short story and I think you’ve done a good job of dealing with a delicate subject.