Twisted Tales - Comments

  • J.B. Parker

    J.B. Parker (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    26
    Location:
    United States
    @ JubaSuperman
    Thank you for the comment, and for the suggestions! This story could honestly use about a thousand more revisions and edits if I'm being perfectly honest with myself, haha! I have a shameful love affair with adverbs, adjectives, commas and misused semicolons, and cliches. I've been making more of an effort to cut all these things in my other writing (short stories mostly), but I've been less vicious in cutting them in this story. A bit of a guilty pleasure, I suppose. But you know what William Faulkner said, "kill your darlings". I'll skim through the previous chapters and clean them up a bit, make it a smoother read.

    I'm glad you're enjoying it so far, and all I can say is, I swear it gets better. I'm working with chapters I wrote when I was a much younger, much less skilled writer, and some of these chapters are still coming out pretty rough, given what I have to work with. It does pick up eventually though, I promise!
    September 19th, 2018 at 06:24pm
  • JubaSuperman

    JubaSuperman (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    27
    Location:
    Canada
    Yay for those stories that we just can't let go of! I also have some ideas that have been kicking around for ten years or so, and seeing another writer finish theirs is really motivating! Here are some comments, from one writer to another...

    As I'm sure you know, this needs a copy edit; I noticed some sentence structure/grammatical issues and a few typos. It also might be a little heavy on adjectives/adverbs, and reliant on cliches, here and there.

    I love the details you include just enough to let us know that this is in reference to the fairy tale, but with enough of your own spin on it. The style is quirky, fun, and action-packed. I can feel myself in the story.

    So far, I've only read the first chapter, but I'm certainly going to keep reading!
    September 18th, 2018 at 03:41am
  • littlelexy2

    littlelexy2 (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    25
    Location:
    Canada
    Is this the author of little red? I love little red
    August 28th, 2018 at 03:53am