Guerra - Comments

@ PhenoBarbiDoll
The poor man has a LOT of catching up to do.

Wow. Nice of him to share an update on Elena, and I have a definite sense of foreboding based on the life advice and his comments on the time he has left...

Great start! I'm definitely intrigued.

@ DracoMalfoy;
I did another re-read, and I see what you mean. Thanks!

@ Colonel Carrillo;

Right here when putting emphasis on this phrase "...little too much goofing off was a bit of an..." then immediately putting a thought "
Better to get the ass chewing over with now" makes it a little confusing as to what's a thought and what's emphasis. It caught me off guard a bit when I was reading through since there is a lot of italics in the chapter and while I was able to differentiate by the action lines immediately following or before, it was still something that messed with the flow for me personally.

@ DracoMalfoy;
Thanks for the comment!

Could you give me an example of what you're referring to?

Here for the comment swap :)

I don't actually watch Narcos, so I'm going to be commenting as someone from the outside so I'll do my best.

I'll start with the classic comment: Layout. I don't find layouts to be all that important, but yours compliments your story well and it's really nice to look at.

Summary: I know in your blog you mentioned you weren't happy with it? I think it's great, however it sounds more like a small chapter than an actual summary. It's a bit long, but I still think it sounds nice and gets the point across nicely.

Chapter: Like I said I don't know the show much, so I can't comment on how true to character this is. What I can say is that I didn't immediately notice any errors. My only issue is the switch between thoughts and normal text, it often didn't stand out and broke up the paragraphs a bit which messed with the flow. Otherwise, though everything was great.

@ american nightmare;
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Great update so far. I can't wait for more.