Mister Nothing - Comments

Very minor grammar mistakes (leaving words out, using past tense instead of present tense, etc), but it didn't take away from the story. I felt like there was some things missing in the first chapter. I do like that you didn't give too much away in the first chapter, because bombarding too much background information at once can cluster the beginning and take away from the plot that you're trying to introduce. It seemed that there was a push and pull of her being upset with her significant other to feeling bad for herself, but I wanted to see that occupying her thoughts or through her actions. Such as if she should leave, talk to him, etc. I wish there was more about how the protagonist was feeling rather than taking us through her day, like when she had Ava over. I felt that it was a little rushed in the part between the main character talking to Ava to trying to tell her what happened. Earlier you expressed that Paola was hurt, but the same feeling wasn't there when Ava was over until she was going to tell her what happened.

I like that the second chapter includes a flashback to the previous night to put the reader in the main character's shoes. I was wondering what Richard and Nicole's relationship was toward the main character. Were they friends, relatives, in-laws? Overall I like where this is heading. I'd love to see Paola and Austin's relationship pre-party night and leading up to their marriage. Was there some down fall or was there always a honeymoon stage before that night? I'd also love to see where Paola is going to go after all this and what she's going to do, what is going to happen to their relationship. I feel like Ava and Nicole will have a big part in this somehow. Very good, can't want to read what's next!

Where is Part 3?! :P Hehe.

You mustered* all your strength you mean, not mastered. Not that you haven't mastered your strength! :D Also in the 7th paragraph you said he always assured him, you mean to say he always assured me I think.

Oh interesting, I will check chapter 2 now.

This is really tense and sad. Ive never been in a relationship like what was mentioned by the main female character but I can feel her sadness and hurt. I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter (but take your time with it and don't rush it)