Without the Sky - Comments

I simply adore the premises of the story. The hero has a sarcastic, bitter sort of voice at times that really makes one feel for his affliction of sorts. His struggle with himself, his existence is one we all face at one point or another, although his has a much more urgent tone to it. There is a sense of realism to your work; the bits from the newspaper really drew me in. Basically, I love everything about this story.

The layout is gorgeous; I love the banner. Your grammar is wonderful, as are your writing skills. You're a magnificent storyteller. You really know how to draw the reader in. I would love to see how this ends; I can just tell you have all sorts of interesting things planned.

wow this is good! please keep writing!

This story is incredible. It's so original, and so well written.
You have perfected the narration of Beckett. This truly is a great story.

I really wish you would continue this. It's one of the few well-written stories here on mibba.

<3 Fuck yes. I'm glad there are decent stories on Mibba sometimes. Your prologue seems really promising. Continue?

I really have to start off with complimenting you on your introduction to the story. Usually, from what I have seen, people attempting to switch from article style, straight int narration, often fail at it because the article part seems so fake. However, you pulled off both very nicely. The two beginning passages flowed very nicely, and read as articles in the newspaper would read. They were cold, almost emotionless, yet informed us of the views. And then you switched right off into the narration part without skipping a beat really, allowing everything to flow beautifully.

There really isn't much say since it is the prologue, but I am already interested in the character of Beckett. He seems very bitter about his life, clearly, also very sad and perhaps even dissapointed that he wasn't the angel everyone thought he would be. I liked how he responded to each of the commentors in the article above. All with some kind of teenager sassiness- so I am going to assume he is an adolence just from that.

My favorite line though: [i[I can't even fly..
I know it is a simple line, but it really seemed to sum up his character, I believe. Just the delivery of it. I don't know, I just really liked it. Well it was the first thing I ever read of yours and I was very pleased :)

I adore this. It's off to a great start.

I love how you make Beckett's voice sound. And how you made him respond to what people had said to the newspapers the day he was born.

It's lovely.

Your writing is amazing. I enjoyed reading it.

Wow, this is amazing. I can't wait for the next update.

The Pimpin and Reccin' thread has done me good for once! I've been on the lookout for OFs for sometime.

I liked how you had Beckett's parents reject what the doctors said - that he was an angel. It probably wouldn't have kept my attention if there weren't two sides; the side that said it was just a mutation and the side who says angel. Shows conflict already!
Same with all the thoughts of passers-by. Though, that probably isn't the main plot.

I liked how the chapter ended. It would be so cool if he could fly, though. Haha.
Can't wait to see where you take this. It really is an interesting story.