The Room, the Sun and the Sky - Comments

Wow... I feel crummy; your story finished, and I didn't even know about it. I've been absent from cyberspace for the last couple months as I was in a musical, but now I'm back with a vengeance. I was sad to see your story end, because I feel that you could have gone so much further with it, found some deeper conflicts. Either way, though, I'm a slave for the fairytale ending, and I love that August and Petra end up together. I especially like the Romeo and Juliet-esque story you have here. Like I said before, I think you could have gone further with this, but you obviously know when it's time to put a story on the shelf, and the worst thing to do is drag something out past its "best before" date.
Congratulations on a success, and I'm sorry that it took me so long to get around to it. I'll be moving on to your other stories now.

Oh, boy, this was much better! I live the changes you've made, they make the story so much more realistic! I'll be waiting for more!

This is pretty good--you really have the language down.
I think you could do well with taking it a little slower, and building the relationship between them a bit. I know you say that it's been three-plus months, but it almost feels like he's professing love after only a day or two, just because there's no development in between. But anyway, that's just my opinion.
I do like what you've got here.

i freaking love this!!! :)
it was soooo good!