Uhm... this was actually not that bad, little sis x] I though, must criticise something... you have spelling errors, grammer errors, and a few other things. Read some chapters of my stories, it may help you learn a bit more. Or, there is a link on here somewhere to help you learn to write a bit better. Like, training almost. But other than that, I like this story :] I want more -evil laugh- XD
I though, must criticise something... you have spelling errors, grammer errors, and a few other things.
Read some chapters of my stories, it may help you learn a bit more.
Or, there is a link on here somewhere to help you learn to write a bit better.
Like, training almost.
But other than that, I like this story :]
I want more -evil laugh-
XD