This is long overdue, I know. I'm sorry. I'll try not to be too nitpicky, but I'm a bit of a grammar freak.
I like how you start it. "I think I'll call you Shila." It's just nice to throw you in there. It's quite ambiguous, so you could take it to mean anything.
I love the detail in the first paragraph. The imagery with her voice is perfectly done, and you can tell she means a lot to the narrator (I don't know if it's a he or a she XD) just from that.
Their dialogue is really well-written, and seems really natural. It has that slight awkwardness, but you can still tell that they're close. The description is also really good, especially of the room, and the imagery is amazing. You can tell you really thought about this, because it doesn't just sound like you tacked it on to make it more interesting. It really works with the story.
By the end of it, I have to say that I'm a little confused. I'm not quite sure what's going on, but I think it kind of works. It's a very ambiguous ending, and I like that. It leaves it open for anything, really.
So yeah. I really liked this. Like Ftw. said, you're amazing with detail, and this was really well-written. You get bonus points 'cause there were no spelling or grammar errors that I saw. I love that in a story. :D
I like how you start it. "I think I'll call you Shila." It's just nice to throw you in there. It's quite ambiguous, so you could take it to mean anything.
I love the detail in the first paragraph. The imagery with her voice is perfectly done, and you can tell she means a lot to the narrator (I don't know if it's a he or a she XD) just from that.
Their dialogue is really well-written, and seems really natural. It has that slight awkwardness, but you can still tell that they're close. The description is also really good, especially of the room, and the imagery is amazing. You can tell you really thought about this, because it doesn't just sound like you tacked it on to make it more interesting. It really works with the story.
By the end of it, I have to say that I'm a little confused. I'm not quite sure what's going on, but I think it kind of works. It's a very ambiguous ending, and I like that. It leaves it open for anything, really.
So yeah. I really liked this. Like Ftw. said, you're amazing with detail, and this was really well-written. You get bonus points 'cause there were no spelling or grammar errors that I saw. I love that in a story. :D