Hey, you have a good out-line for your story, I noticed a lot of spelling mistakes you might want to clear up, they are pretty tight about that on here. Also I really think you should describe some things better, like Brian, the reader knows that the main character Kelly likes him but why? You have to juice your story for everything it's worth, and try using more intriguing words, it makes the reader continue to read. Anyways it was pretty good.
September 18th, 2008 at 01:43am