First Love - Comments

Absolutely Amazing:D
this is so sweet and i love the way you write :-)

x

I thought I'd subscribed to this. Turns out I hadn't. I have now though
This really really amazing. Amazingly so. yes I mean it's amazingly amazing.
I cried at chapter two. I was proper bawling my eyes out. A story rarely, if ever has, done that to me before.
Brava! xoxo

Hello Vicky! Just stopped by to do that review you asked for. I read the first chapter. Nice and long! I certainly prefer a story with longer chapters instead of short blurbs.

1) Grammar/spelling: As far as I could tell, flawless! I didn't catch any misspellings, grammar errors, structure errors, or anything. Very good job on that. Do you have a proofreader? If so, hold on to that one!

2) Character development: I thought you did a fairly good job developing the main character. There could be a bit more "show" and a bit less "tell," but I got the jist of who Cassadee was. Also, for her name spelling-- I assume that "Cassadee" is a form of the name "Cassidy." However, in my head, I pronounce "Cassadee" with the emphasis on the last syllable. I don't know if that's how you intended it to be, but I just thought I'd let you know that although part of me knows it's supposed to have an emphasis on the first syllable, I go to the last syllable anyway.

3) Plot: Since it's a short love story, there's not a whole lot of plot to critique here. Overall, it was believable. Except... the babysitting thing. I babysat other kids when I was twelve. A fifteen year old can drive in many parts of the United States. Even if the mother was overly strict, why would a sixteen year old be magically mature enough to handle a fifteen year old? Especially a sixteen year old male handling a fifteen year old female? Other than that, I thought you did a nice job.

4) Other: I would recommend, just for professional appearance, to left align your story. But... how do you center align?

Good work!

wow... it was like, ggrrr, then yay!, then nervous, then YAY, then cries...

it was great... i cant wait for the final!

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

there's more?! :weird

This is really amazing. I love it!
ANd I hate it when you say your stories suck!
Because they don't! They are utterly and completely amazing!
I am dead serious!
You need to get that next chapter up!
I am dying to see what happens.
And that happens very rarely.
I mean srsly. I never get really attatched to a story.
And I'm attatched to this one!
No one will ever be able to replicate it!
:D

I love you!
xoxo
Lacey

This story is amazing :]
xoxo

That was Amazing <333
You're such an amazing writer! XxXx

wow that was awesomely written poor cass and mikey!!!! cant wait for more!!!!

loves it! even tho it was really sad!

amazing amazing amazing
and so beautifully written
xox

wow... sorry it took so long to read this. major email pile upage. i love it, its amazzzingly good.
*insert funny compliment here cause im so not capable of funny after reading that awesomeness*

Okay, so I'm really sorry I just now read this. I was either too busy or I forgot, but now I read it. I can't believe I've been missing out! I seriously love this. I swear you're one of the most talented writers on here...

I swear to Ray, your Ray character made me bust out laughing. He was probably my favorite. I want Ray as a brother...

Anyway. This is a two-shot, right? I hope so because I really want to read more.

Wait, it has to be a two-shot because of the Froianity "reference."

Can't wait. :arms:

wow so amazing
xx

This is honestly amazing :O
Really you should be proud of this!
Can't wait for the next chapter.
xox

^^
I totally agree :). Looking forward to the next chapter!
xox

Shit. That was amazing. :cheese:

The beginning was so sweet and innocent, and then it started getting more and more...hmm. Conflicted? I really can't put my finger on the word so stfu. :tehe:

And then the end was so amazing and sweet. It didn't seem horny or anything ; you made it so cute and adorable that I wanted to read more but then the chapter ended. :file:

More soon? :weird

I love it! Its amazing!

llloovvveeeeee it. :)

can't wait for more