Perfect strangers - Comments

@ Mr.Sunshine
I'd be more than happy to give you my input for the sequel :)

@ Death The Angel
Thanks, I didn't know people still read my stories. The sequel has been on hiatus for a while now. Dean... he was a pretty much a dick character, he was unredeemable, but while writing it I decided he needed at tiny sliver of a heart... but not much. Glad you liked it, all that drama, well some at least is sadly ghost of my past.

Would love your input for the sequel, I want to get back into it.

Wow, it took me the course of a few good hours to read this whole story but holy cow, I definitely got my drama fix Is it sad that I don't feel bad for what happened to Dean at all? He was such a douche Great story!

@ YeahRight
Ehh, It needs a lot of editing, but I'm happy with the story *blushes* thanks mr.

Soo... I just finished this one.. And I totally JUST realized I probably should have read this one first.
Yeah.
You had 69 comments *giggles*
But now it's 70 because of me
Anyyyywhore, I like it alooooot Mr. Gay Cowboy c:
You did good sir *smiles*

I'm here from the comment swap thingy. (:
I was really shocked when this story had such a generic layout and was 54 chapters long. I feel kind of stuck because now if I don't read all 54 chapters and leave a comment on it, I can't use the comment swap again. So, next time, try to use a shorter story because the layout & the length kind of puts me off. I don't usually read stories that don't have custom layouts. Also, I don't usually read stories with more than one POV.

But I know it takes some talent to write a story with multiple character POVs and still have people enjoy it, so I give you props there. I've read the first few chapters and you could add in a few commas here and there to make the writing more upper lever. Also, the way you write sentences are kind of backwards sometimes, so work on writing active sentences instead of passive ones with dangling modifiers.

So, here are my tips. Create a layout that is unique for your story, it will make it look more professional. Also, read up on some comma rules and throw those in where needed (even though your story is finished, it will cause people to enjoy it so much more).

Good job on this though, I know it's hard to write multiple POVs. (I've tried).

For starters, I don’t like the layout. It’s too busy and the images distract you from the words. I tend to just close the tab when I come across stories using this background, but that’s my personal opinion.

“The guys says gabbing the little bear with the tux on, I pointed at.”

I feel like this sentence, should be something like:

“The guy says, while grabbing the little bear with the tux on that I had pointed at.”

It’s just a small thing, that doesn’t particularly bother me, but it does make it read a bit better. There’s also the fact that a few comma’s could be used here and there as well. I did also notice that you don’t particularly describe the surroundings very much and is something else I would say that you could perhaps work on.

Truly, I can see this story having marvelous potential if you fix some of the small things here and there. The interaction between the characters is excellent and believable and the story line is enjoyable. So, I hope that story keeps on going, though I will admit the constant changing of POV’s is a bit disorienting, though does add a third dimension to the story. Continue writing, it’s interesting :)

okay you said to point out faves and dislikes. . .

my favorite scene is when matt needs to tell him the news and shaun distracts him. the way shaun turned all wild is sooo sexy!
HE GROWLED!!!!!! @.@ THAT WAS SO SEDUCTIVE AND FUH!!!!

and i LOVED the way matt just picked him up and threw him on the bed!
oh and back when shaun walked out leaving matt hard and cluelessXD
--My favorite chapter-- (yes i've finished the story)

omcows! he freaking GROWLED!!!!!

omc i only read first chapter and i was like I MUST COMMENT NOW! i love it already. . . *blush* i wasnt really interested cuzz it was just a normal story and then the end of the chapter when dean and shaun(sp srry) kiss and everything! im a sucker for gays and stuffXD . . .aaaaaah i love it!

okay im going to go back to reading. :)

Ive only read a few but this is liker really good mister ! :D

Good story.

i love it babes.
i could tell you were squishing everything in, but seemingly i didn't mind.
perfect ending.

thats all i can really say.
except, no. rhys isnt going to end up
in a mental hopsital, because he has
shaun. and he'll make everything better.
-glares-

i know this may sound conceited but i think you may like my story called run with it.
check it out?
awesome story by the way!!!
from,
bethie

Wow.
Uh..Shaun and Matt. fxcking cute as per usual.
But..Dean..Died. It was so..unexpected.
And it was when he was saying that he loved Aiden.
Umm *speechless*
Im sorry Trevor I dont think I can make this any more
of a long comment *sighs*
RIP Dean.
You Were A Fucker..Yes.
But, I'll Miss You
*tears*

whoaaa.
what to say what to say.
WHAT THE FACCCCCKKKKKKKKKK
I fucking HATE CLIFFHANGERS.
WHAT DID RHYS DO?!
NOOOOO. Fucking Dean! DIE OF AIDS ALREADY DIE DIE DIE!

Okay, no that ive got that out of my system..
*clears throat* i think what matt did, for rhys and shaun was right cute. and for that he's back in my good books, althoughh he's going back to africa and is out of the story now anyway..that must of taken a shitload of courage and love to do tbh, so who's to say he doesnt love shaun as much as rhys? the things people do for love.
"I said it was the right thing, not easy" i really like that trev, its deeper and has a lot more meaning than you may think it does :) so for that i love this chapter.

now fer the next one..my gawsh.
they just love sexing each other dont they. its reaaal cute though, i mean i would just like pull their cheeks. and the ring and everything..can you say awwww ?!
but..the ending..dont do that to me trev, i mean i know its all build up and shit..but its bad enough your ENDING this story. >.> gawd. now your giving me cliffhangers. FFS TREVOR! hmmm...i mean its obviously bad because shaun doesnt want it to be happeninng now at "a time like this" theyre in a prettty rad moment, so its got to be pretty bad..plus..shaun said he didnt mind or someshiet? so if its going to change that..then WHAT THE!?

my gawsshh.

always dramatic.
always love it trev (Y)
good stuff.
updater soon yeah?
love youu x

I NEED to know what happends next very soon!

That's fucking good for Dean! I hope he fucking dies in the most horrible way possible! He's such a sick fuck. Him and apparently his family.

"I knew if I played my cards right I could start something with her, maybe plant another seed... have a few more of me around, how could that be bad."

Im not even fucking joking.
Do you know how much I wanted to
throw the computer screen. I have
no idea why, but it made me hella
angrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy D<
im still pretty ticked off about it.

BUT FUCK YEAH! GO MATT
AS MUCH AS I HATE YOUU!
Your fucking maddd. Giving
Dean Aids. So he knew all
along Trev that he had aids?
Cause im unsure of that one

omgomgomg.
DEANS GOING TO DIE!
FUCK YES OH YEAHH!
NO EATING HERE TONIGHT
NO NO NO EATING HERE TONIGHT.
wait that doesnt fit does it >>
does it? oh well..

Dean is going to diee.
Well, thats all fine and dandy
but he did mention speeding
up the fucking process.
WHATTTTTTTTT ?!
NO. NO. NO.
How bout he just dies
and we all live happily ever
after. ;)

Im also curious as to what the
sequel will be about..
i mean if deans dieing..then who
would like..take over from there?
hmm..interesting.

update soon.
your number fangirl.
three updates in one day.
YOUR ON FIREEEE TREVOR!

omgashhhhhhhh.
okay, i cried when rhys did what he did...:( Your story tends to make me cry hell of alot these days trrev.
HOW CAN ANYBODY! Say that Shaun doesnt belong with Rhys now? Serously..okay I know he only did it because he was hiding something..but if he is willing to give up Shaun to protect him and protect their love..thats got to mean something right? Matt shouldnt be with Shaun. Im going to talk to you about that one Trev. Ill make you change it ;)
But yeah, at the end of this chap I got this major adrenaline rush, like HURRY THE FUCK UP AND UPDATE. I know you've updated twice already, and you'll be back soon to update again. but i cant wait. I REAALLY LIKED THIS ONE TREVOR ;) Did you get that? I did. It didnt bore me ;) The last chap is probably the only one that did. And you fixed the "Shaun being at Rhys' house..claiming its his own" Problem! Good stuff :]

But, yeah Im excited now. Except I dont want Rhys to kill Dean. Not because I dont want Dean..'sif..because Rhys will get in shit for it. Nooooooooooooo.
:(

Trevor. I need your help. Shed some light on my worries love and update :)
please and thank you.
your number one fangirl :)
x

Wow. Okay umm.
At first I was ready to kill you for making little Rachel get taken away, however, this makes for good payback on Aiden's part. I mean, Dean is going to get whats coming to him, that's obvious right? But I struggle to see how its going to happen. I mean he's a step ahead of everyone. But Aiden knows him hella well, so she could like, fuck him up really bad right? And did Dean actually love Aiden, Im curious. Or was he just using her like everyone thinks. *shrugs*
Good chapter Trev. But I was a tad bored. Im sorry =(
But but but, update fast. I think Im just bored, cause I need to know more >> And your not givving me moree! Anywho, update fast. Get Rachel taken away by Dean and I will hunt you down in your Sydney apartment alright bitch? Its only like an hour from me. So watch it. FUCK DEAN UP! OH YEAH!
:)