Feel of the Flesh - Comments

Hey, read it through, really liked it!

Swell!

It's...different. Not really my style.

Sort of confusing for an intro/first chapter. I kept trying to figure out if they were two wolves talking...or two people talking...or two...I don't know what. If I were...well if I were more intrigued, I would read more into it. But still, all the dialogue in the first chapter catches the attention of the reader, and makes them want to read more into it to understand more about the characters. Unfortunately, there's too much dialogue, I think. If you used some more description and a little more writing into what's actually going on, it would be better. :tehe: I like the overuse of the word bitch.

No! They're in danger, I know it...
Another great update. They keep getting better and you're building more suspense by not revealing too much. :]

Thankyou so much for your comment on my story! It always makes me happy each time someone comments on Transylvania. =]
It's great that you didn't dismiss it because you didn't know the band and read it as original fiction.

I hoep the next update is soon!
:arms:

this is incredible!! i love the layout too. you make it simple, but interesting. keep it up!!

Yey, an update :]

I liked this one better. The relationship between Innya and Edward is interesting; the way that she called him 'sir' suggests a hint of fear and his clear high status.

I'm intrigued as to who killed the humans. The only story I've read with (and I'm guessing they are) werewolves in is the Twilight series and they're hard to match up to, but you're doing a good job in keeping with the mystery and I really wanna know what happens next. :]

Great job.

Okay, thank you! I think I did that because it was midnight and I was fed up, lol!

But I'll take those out and describe them.. thank you both for the advice! I really do appreciate it!

I really like the idea of this. It's intriguing and different and I'm going to subscribe. :]

However, I think that you should remove the links to the pictures and use your imagination and obviously large amount of writing skill to describe them. It's always better to let the reader use their imagination, fuelled by the writer's description of course. If this was fan fiction you wouldn't need that much description but with OF you should really try and make your characters your own, especially in such a unique fic like this.

I don't mean to sound awful but I'm just trying to help you push your story out there. I know alot of readers who will click the back button as soon as pictures or links to pictures of characters are introduced because they think that the writer has no skill to describe anything and has to rely on images to do it for them. And this is a shame, because you clearly have the talent to put alot more description in your work and this promising story doesn't deserve to be ignored becase of one simple thing like that.

I hope you'll keep what I've said in mind, and I'm looking forward to the next update. :]

I think it's really good.

Could use a little more description, I think, but I'm just saying so cause you asked me to review for you!